Relationships with siblings

[IntoValhalla]

After a chat with a close friend yesterday I’m feeling quite shit about my relationship with my only sibling.
My friend and her Dsis have the same age gap as me and my Dsis, and she was talking about how they get on like a house on fire, go on holidays together, concerts, nights out etc and in a way it made me feel really crap about the relationship - or lack thereof - that I have with my own sister.

It’s not like we used to get on and then a big fight broke the relationship down or anything - it’s almost as if we decided from the moment I was born that we just weren’t going to get on. We had some brutal, physical fights as children, never really played together etc, we just happened to live in the same house and have the same parents. As teenagers, we could go weeks without saying a single word to each other even though we lived in the same house - again not because of any argument, we just had nothing to say to each other!
As adults, we have nothing in common. We have completely different outlooks in life, and the way we view the world couldn’t be more opposite. It’s actually very hard to believe that we are related

I guess I’m now hitting an age where I’m realising how sad all those things actually are There’s people like my friend who have such a close bond with their siblings, and then there’s me and my sister who only ever spend time together when it’s occasions of “forced fun” - like Christmas etc. And even then, we can go the whole of Christmas Day and not say more than a few sentences to each other.
Anyone else got this kind of non-relationship with their siblings? And if so, how do you feel about it?
I think deep down I know that there’s no point in trying to force a relationship because we are just too different - if we weren’t blood relatives, and had met anywhere else, then I’m under no illusion: we would never be friends. It just makes me a bit sad to see how others have that close relationship with siblings and I’ve never had that

I speak to my brothers once a year, when we’re all at our parents’ house for Christmas. Like you, we’ve never fallen out and don’t dislike each other: we just have nothing in common and are very different people. We can jolly along for the day with jokes and small talk but don’t have a lot to say to each other beyond that.

I know our mum wishes we were closer but it is what it is. I suppose it helps to remember that siblings who are best friends as adults are very much in the minority - I think most people get along with their siblings but aren’t hugely close; and I’m just utterly glad my family isn’t like that of quite a few of my friends whose sibling relationships seem to be constant fallings out and angsts and bitterness. I have a lot of friends and so don’t particularly lament that I don’t socialise with my brothers.

If you feel sad about it though, why not try to open up to your sister and say so. She might feel the same way. You might not ever become hugely close but could at least develop more of a relationship.

Comtesse I’ve got a few very close friends who play more of a part in my life than my sibling, so it’s not like I’m missing out on that kind of close friendship - I’d trust those friends with things that I’d never even mention to my Dsis.
We are so opposite it kind of seems like even if we did try to have any kind of conversation past small talk, we’d have nothing to talk about because we’d just disagree on every subject if that makes sense? It’s like I believe the sky is blue but she believes it’s red, so it’s not really worth discussing. I doubt we’d have a full blown arguement, it just feels like it would be very hard work for both of us, so probably not worth it
Using my friend’s concert scenario as an example - I’d go to the concert with the close friends I mentioned and have a whale of a time. I think it’s more the idea of the close sibling relationship like she has with her Dsis that I like? I don’t know!