Is he the one ?

[Youwillneverknow1]

hello guys,

Im currently 16 and living with my mum. I have a boyfriend who i have been with for the past few months now but we have known each other for the past 4 years. Hes really sweet and funny and all that but there are a few things im thinking about and a few things my friends have pointed out about him.

Me and my mum have not been getting along at all since early of this year. We never get on and just argue all the time. Shes been asking me to leave her home for a while now because of my boyfriend and saying how hes just caos and ruining my life.

I met this guy on facebook about 4 years ago, He seemed so funny and nice and we just connected instanly. The only problem was that he lived three hours away from me in the country side. My mum has hated him from the day we met and has been trying to split us apart since. We went out for a year but my mum forced us to split up. Not just that shes called the police on us everytime we meet and has told the police hes 10 years older then me and a weirdo which is not true.

Fast forward to right now. Me and the guy, we'll call him james. We want to move in together. Life in my house is misrable and i want to move out anyway. My mum is really religious and says hes a satinist becuase hes not of her faith which is just ridiculous.

The thing that pulls me apart is a few of my friends are saying we are in an unhealthy relationship. Like if i dont text him for 10 minutes he will call me 5 times and text me saying hes worried and am i okay when ive probably just gone to the shower or making food. He also insults himself all the time and if i disagree he gets annoyed with me, or if i say something that at the time i dont mean about myself he will threaten to hurt himself and make me say sorry to him and take it back. Another thing a lot of my friends thinks is backwards is that he has come down to vist me and paid me to vist him via trains, but hes asking i pay him back all the times hes paid for it saying its ammounted to 500 pounds which to be honest i dont think is fair. I dont really have that kind of money of the bat but he says i can pay him back when ever. I just feel like hes spent his own money to come and see me and now wants it back :. I think what he is is needy and clingy but i want a second opinion on this.

If anyone has any advice please drop something below because im so lost right now.

Do not move in with him, drop him asap, he's a manipulative user, this is anusive behaviour. Listen to what everyone is telling you, it's not healthy, your mum is being OTT but she's on the right track. What age is he?

You're 16, this relationship is too intense and a smite controlling. You'd be better off letting this one go.

Tell him you wont be paying him the money back for visiting you. That's not your problem. He can't expect to pay willingly and tell you he wants it back. I doubt you'll have an income of your own yet. It's just another way to make sure you stick around if you 'owe him'

Tell him goodbye, don't see it as escape from your parents, it won't end well.

What 16 yo uses the terms "amounted" and "off the bat" hmm 🤔

Take it from someone who moved in with her older boyfriend because the relationship with parents was just too toxic... This man is NOT good for you.

I understand you're between a rock and a hard place but please please don't write yourself off and settle for this. His behaviour is Not normal and he will become even more controlling of you if you moved in.

Run. Run for the hills

Agree with everyone. He's already controlling you. I dated someone who would ring and chase me if he didn't get a quick reply, and the day I lost signal and started panicking that he wouldn't be able to get in touch I realised it was ridiculous.

I also agree your mum is not perhaps addressing it the right way, but probably has your best interests at heart and is hoping an ultimatum will push you to "choose" her. Remember, it's not about choosing her or him. It's about choosing a life and future for yourself, and this is not a good life to choose, it would set you down a difficult path and would just get harder and harder to escape from. Choose you. Choose a good and happy life. Listen to your friends and your mum, ask for their help, it's what they are there for, as you would be for them if the chips were down. If you once had a good relationship with your mum, try and reconnect. It won't be easy, but she's likely to be there for you a lot longer than he will, and with your best interests at the top of her priority list. Unlike him who seems to be looking out for himself first and foremost. Good luck.