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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Husbands lying

17 replies

Womensbestfriend01 · 02/05/2019 08:06

Hi
Can anyone tell me if I am being unreasonable?
My husband has in the past (several times) has met up with old girlfriends/good female friends he used to work with but always kept it a secret. When I have found out, he says it’s because of how I react. I have said it’s not the meeting I have a problem with but the secrecy. Yesterday I found out he has had yet another meeting with a ex female colleague. He told me on the day of the meeting he was catching up with someone from his team.
I also found out that this woman , who now lives in Australia, has been asked by my husband to search for an ex girlfriend of his who also moved to Australia years ago. I have seen an exchange of messages and my husband goes into quite personal detail about why he wants to find her but when I asked him about it, he refuses to talk. He always manages to turn it around to it being my fault some how.
I have had to cancer scare and my husband refused to come to my appointments with me but turns out will drop everything to meet with friends.

OP posts:
Aberforthsgoat · 02/05/2019 08:29

I think you know the answer to this OP.
YANBU. He sounds like a cock womble.

Shoxfordian · 02/05/2019 08:30

He sounds like a knob

AttilaTheMeerkat · 02/05/2019 08:34

Your womanising H sounds utterly awful.

Why are you with your husband at all now?. What are you getting out of this relationship?. You sound completely downtrodden by him and I am wondering if he has treated you like this throughout your whole relationship.

Singlenotsingle · 02/05/2019 08:34

He's not fit for purpose. What happened to "forsaking all others" ?

bigbadbadger · 02/05/2019 08:40

He’s a liar and it appears a cheat, or well on the way to being one. Why are you wasting your time op. You deserve more.

RLEOM · 02/05/2019 11:44

Womanising seems to be his game. Sorry, OP, but he doesn't seem like he gives two flying fudge monkeys about how you feel.

SandyY2K · 02/05/2019 16:45

Would he be happy if you did the same? Searching for Ex BFs...going out for meals with them?

A friend of mine's DH didn't go to her when she was having her breast cancer op....but he was apparently too scared.

I went to support her with another friend and I was clear in my mind that if my DH didn't come with me for a similar procedure.... my commitment to the marriage would be over.

Your H doesn't have any respect or regard for you. You can stay or go...but protect yourself whatever you decide. He hasn't got your back.

Original poster
Womensbestfriend01 · 02/05/2019 22:15

You are right.... I don’t actually know what I am getting out of this relationship.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/05/2019 22:17

Sack it then. What is the point ?

Original poster
Womensbestfriend01 · 02/05/2019 22:18

According to my husband, it’s me that has the problem

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 02/05/2019 22:26

He will be glad if you fuck off then, won't he ?

OldAndWornOut · 02/05/2019 22:30

Why would you take any notice of your husbands view of 'the problem'?
He's a liar, so...

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 02/05/2019 22:40

You don't need this waste of space cluttering up your life OP

Figure8 · 02/05/2019 22:52

Ah, the old " it's your problem" trick.
Classic.

*No, it isn't your problem.
*He's a grown man, no-one forced him to lie.
*It doesn't matter if he inserted anything into anyone else, lying is still being disloyal.
*Just because you looked at his messages, it doesn't mean that you're a hysterical/ jealous/possessive drone who deserves to be lied to.
( just clearing all those up)

Can I just ask.... what was it that tipped you off and made you look?

Figure8 · 02/05/2019 22:53

didn't insert
And " crone" .... not droneGrin

Original poster
Womensbestfriend01 · 03/05/2019 20:44

I can usually tell when a lie is coming as he acts slightly odd ... it’s sutle but I notice

OP posts:
Original poster
Womensbestfriend01 · 06/05/2019 07:50

Thank you for your messages.... I feel now I’m not going mad.... just have a lot to work out

OP posts:
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