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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What do I do?

2 replies

p3achnation · 01/05/2019 23:43

So me & my OH have a beautiful 2 year old who we are both devoted too and love dearly. We live together in our own home and on the outside everything is perfect. We both have stable jobs etc.

Me and OH haven't been getting on since before DD was here and here's me thinking everything would sort itself out when she was here!

I suffered from pnd after my daughter was born and her being our first and moving in together was a big shock to the system for both of us. 2 years on I'm the most depressed I've ever been. Me and OH split last year for a couple of months. He joined a dating site and I found out he was speaking to someone else. Despite this we worked things out and moved on from it. Since we've gotten back together he has got so much better, taken on board the issues I raised before we split and is very hands on with DD. Although I still feel so so unhappy, he's done absolutely nothing wrong and is the best dad to our daughter so I feel awful for feeling the way I do. We've been together for nearly 7 years and I feel like we've grown apart and have no similar interests/things in common nore do we have much to talk about other than DD or work. He wants different things to me for the future and I feel like I'm forcing myself to go along with these plans even though i do not necessarily want to do them.

Am I being selfish? What should I do? If I leave I'd feel awful for braking up our family unit and the thought of having to share custody of DD and not seeing her everyday scares me. Also the issue of living arrangements!

Has anyone else been in this situation? Please help xx

OP posts:
bringthethunder · 02/05/2019 13:27

It's not selfish to want to be happy OP. Lie is short and happiness is an undervalued commodity.

If you think the relationship is salvageable then I can only suggest communication and both of you working at trying to eek out some child-free time for you both to spend some valuable time together being individuals and not just parents.

If you don't think it's fixable - and there doesn't need to be a big list of reasons and explanations for why, btw then communicate that to him openly and honestly and try to move forward with your lives, separately but as co-parents.

I would also strongly recommend that you visit your GP re. the depression as it could very well be a continuing problem from your pnd days and some medication, some time, and some self-love might be all that's required here.

bringthethunder · 02/05/2019 13:28

life is short**

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