am I weird?

[goingmadmadmad]

ok, so I feel quite embarrassed about this which is why I don't want to talk about it in real life….
So I am in an unhappy marriage, basically co-living in the same house, nearly 50, can't afford to leave dh, and we kind of bob along ok, if rather sadly.
What I find myself doing (a lot) is fantasising about being with someone (anyone) in a mutually adoring relationship . I imagine how they would say nice things to me and be caring and loving towards me.

Is this just me who does this? Am I actually going mad?

Ah you need to really look for a way out. How are you going to do this for the next 30-40 years.

Sorry no advise. Only you know if you can exist in a love less vacuum rather than live the rest of your life with joy.

No, you're not going mad. That's your new life calling you.

Not at all weird. Absolutely normal for someone in a relationship that they dont want to be in.

I never got the being adored thing. Ive never felt it and wondered why a friend always used to say she wanted to be adored. Then I met a man who absolutely adores me and tells me that. And it's amazing. Life is too short OP. You have years left. Plenty of time to find a man who will adore you and show it.

You know, MN really can be cathartic. I think just writing this stuff down helps me realise what I have to do. And you are all so nice not laughing at me for doing this!!
God this is scary stuff now. Is it possible to meet someone new at 50??
I have no money! We can't afford to fund two households. How do people do this?

My 55 year old friend was recently married ..... they absolutely adore each other.
And they don't have a brass bean between them. Of course she could have hung on to her affluent, joyless life, but she was brave. You can be too 😊

Hi OP, firstly you are NOT mad. I used to do this all the time in my unhappy relationship. I finally got out. It would be lovely to meet someone else but to be honest, I'm just happy to not be in a rubbish relationship anymore.
Don't focus on meeting someone else, focus on being happy in yourself. Lots of people worry about splitting finances etc but there is always a way. Why do you think you can't afford to split?

You just do it, OP. Step by step. Things work themselves out.

I presume that you've tried everything to resolve the issues in the marriage and nothing has worked?

OP, I met now DH at 52, and a bit fat! :)

Spongebob - that's great. Congratulations. There is hope yet.

Crappy - we have large outgoing that I wouldn't want to stop (sen child).

I'm trying to improve myself in preparation for going. At the very least it may make me feel better.

Jump for richness you have yet to feel.
Just do it.
I have done so, in years past.
It is easier on the mind at 30 than 50, that I grant you.

But, better 50 than 60 eh?. That is not Rocket Science.

One golden rule transcends everything.....

We can live in houses alone. We benefit from having other people in our lives. We can want other people and we can choose who they are in our lives. But we never need another person in our lives. Because we can live alone. And we are never alone because there are always great people around us, everyday.

We just do not need them inside our four walls, our nest, our drey , our burrows.

My dear widowed friend found love again at 52. So yes, it's possible, but perhaps not so easy when you are still married. We have such short lives, how sad to live unloved and unhappy. I met and married my husband when I was 42. But I'd rather be on my own than spend my life miserably attached to someone.