I am a single mum and I work full time. I have a boss who has been very supportive of me for years while I split with my husband. My boss and I are friends, quite close and know each other’s lives well. I have started developing feelings for him because of how kind and good he’s been to me over the last three years. He is also divorced, he and his wife split in 2014 and they have 2 grown up DC.
Two days ago we were at a client dinner and we stayed drinking afterwards and we both confessed we had feelings for each other. He was very drunk. We kissed and he was holding my hand and asking me not to leave and trying very hard to get me to go back to his (to have sex.) I said no we probably needed to not jump into sex so quickly considering our working relationship. He got quite upset about this and I assume, took it as a rejection. In the end he accepted it and was telling me lots of romantic stuff about how he accepts me as I am and how he is going to protect me and look after me and bla bla, referencing stuff he knows about my life and making me feel really known.
The next day I had off and he called me saying that he just wanted to hear my voice. In the background were my kids crying and I couldn’t speak for long.
Today has been my first day back in the office with him and I am experiencing some extreme feelings. We are not communicating at all, it’s really awkward and I feel like I am completely at his mercy as he is the “big cheese.” It’s so unbalanced.
He wats apped me and asked if I could see him. I replied “is it work or something else?” And he said “always work.” Then when I did see him today he said “how are you feeling?” And I said “happy,” as I didn’t want to be unprofessional but still wanted to indicate that I was interested. He said “really?” as if he didn’t think I should be.
I feel limerant. I don’t want to feel like this. I don’t know if he is causing it or I am causing it.
Any grounding advice for me? What to do? To pursue it? How to communicate?