Indecisive about children

[Musomuse]

Hi there
I'm sure this is a topic that has come up before so I hope you will bear with me.
I am 36 and I'm not sure if I want children. I've never been a person that has had a deep longing for children, but I also have worries about my parenting abilities - I have had some spells of severe anxiety in the past and I am concerned about what that may mean during pregnancy and as a parent. However, I also wonder if my partner and I will regret it if we don't try for a child, and therefore miss out on this aspect of life.
My partner and I are in a loving, committed long term relationship, and we have made sure to discuss the issue semi-regularly - but we are both still undecided! He can see the pros and the cons to having children also. However, I feel that I put a bit more pressure on myself (as I am the one with the biological clock!).

We are both decisive people in every other way but with this most important of decisions it is something that we want to get right. I guess I'm asking for practical discussion points or things we can do that can help us in our decision making process?

There's the practical side of:
Can you afford a child
Do you have space for a child
Can you afford childcare if returning to work
Are you prepared to take a career break
Are you prepared to change your lifestyle in terms of socialising, holidays etc?

But ultimately do you want children? Do you ever look at children of your friends or family members and think about having them?

How old's your partner?

My friend went to couples counselling for a slightly similar (whether to have a second child - her and her DH had a different POV. In the Choice) and it did help the find their answer. Would you consider this?

I think in their case, it maybe helped them to articulate their different concerns and to structure the decision making process, and I guess also to feel that they‘d approached things as thoughtfully as possible.

There is no ‚right‘ answer to your situation. but it might help you to work out what is blocking you deciding one way or the other.

Sorry for errors - autocorrect!

Thank you for your thoughtful replies. My partner is 41 and in answer to your practical questions, we are fortunate to have the means to support the child. So it's all feasible on paper, it's just for us to work out now!
Going to a counsellor is an interesting idea. Part of the reason for me posting here is to get some impartial advice so a counsellor is a logical step which we can think about.
We've actually just had a really constructive conversation. We have been together for just over 3 years so we met each other slightly later than friends and colleagues meeting their partners. We had both put children to the very back of our minds because we had both resigned ourselves to singledom(!) and it wasn't really an issue we'd have to think about before. So we've given each other the 'homework' to think about it more than we have been doing and to carry on talking.