Two years ago my partner and I split as he was having it off with someone else. I was a complete and utter mess. One night i got so low that I planned to harm myself. I had met him on pof and swore I wouldn’t go back on it again because well I hated it tbh. But this particular night I did something very similar to what I’m doing now and sought somebody to talk to, to take my mind off things and so I went back onto pof. I got talking to a guy and he was lovely, he too was going through an Uber shit time as he had split from his wife some time before but was all made more real when she had recently moved out. So we were talking and sharing how shit we both felt and before I knew it we were meeting up that night and we talked and laughed and yes things got physical, however it was a total disaster obviously, because we were doing it for all the wrong reasons! He was thinking of her I was thinking of my ex with his new gf which as you can imagine was off putting to say the least and although the guy didn’t know I was even crying at one point. We both realised that it was a total disaster and spent the rest of the night talking and laughing and sharing things about ourselves. Despite the depressing times and the times that should have been awkward but weren’t really because we both just understood each other’s pain, we got on really well and I loved spending time with him. I even told him after that night that he saved my life that night cos if I hadn’t met him I would have done something stupid. Anyway we talked every day and met up again in the week and then again, we went out for the day with his kids, we did eventually sleep together and I fell for him and he told me that he thought he was falling for me. He had so much self doubt and low self esteem, he had been ruined but when he smiled....shit....it was like someone just gave you a key to the gates of heaven lol. I constantly told him how amazing he was and u couldn’t understand how anyone could take him for granted. I knew we were a long way off anything serious because he was still so hurt and betrayed by her but low and behold the second she knew I existed and he was actually happy again, she came crawling back. He was the first genuine person I’d met in a very very very long time but he was never really mine. Anyway two years later and he’s been with her ever since they’ve had another baby and me and my ex got back together (although at this point I’m wondering why after all the shit he’s put me through with other girls) we lost our baby last year, I recently found out he was messaging his ex around new year and I just keep finding myself thinking of the guy from 2017 and yet I feel like I’m doing wrong for even smiling when I do think about the short time we had together. I miss him. Is that completely awful? I just needed to get this out really cos I’m feeling a little lost these days. In some ways I’m glad that he got his marriage back together and that he’s happy, I just hope she’s treating him right. Ps Please if you’re just going to attack me then just leave the thread because I can’t be doing with that tonight. Nice ladies only lol I’m fragile. This is where his wife pops up!! 🤦🏻♀️ Fs