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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

WTAF......need a rant about STBXH

15 replies

scotgal2017 · 30/04/2019 20:43

Sorry this may turn out long lol. Have posted before several times about ex, but briefly together 20 years, married 17, 2 DCs. He was abusive and controlling. He told me he was leaving 2 years ago this July. Obviously hurt the first few month but had counselling and stayed single and quickly realised it was a blessing in disguise. Got the "I met someone" from him 5 months after he left, obviously had his head turned by an OW to leave and went for the greener grass. I have fully moved on, doing OLD etc, just waiting on him filing the divorce he said he so desperately wanted a week after he said he was leaving.

Have to have contact due to teenage DCs but it is very low, practically Grey Rock. He has them for a few weeks at a time as his job takes him away for weeks at a time. We meet in a mutual place and I don;t want him to know my address. I mainly blank his WApps he sends that are full of irrelevant BS. He is due to collect kids mid May, all arranged a while ago. Tonight I get this message from him: "Would it be possible on the Sunday after I pick up the kids to meet somewhere with the dogs. I'd love to take them out for a walk, miss the mad buggers".

He never bothered his arse with the dogs, pretty much like with the kids, as I was secretary and I did everything, all vet appointments/kennel arrangements when going away etc were left to me to arrange. Many a time I was told "they're your fucking dogs not mine" and yes they are, especially now. Cheeky fecker hasn't enquired about them once since he left! I have 3 dogs, 2 old timers; one nearly blind, one with a heart murmur Grade 3/4, and a rescue dog who has issues. They are so protective of me now I think they would probably rip the fecker's face off if he came near me/them, they are not used to a male being around at all. What is the twat playing at and why did he think in a million years I would say "yep sure, no problem". He is 100% deluded if he thinks I would let him anywhere near "my fucking dogs". I don't know whether to blank him as usual or just respond with on word (that would be the word "no")

OP posts:
Shylo · 30/04/2019 20:46

I’d guess he’s looking for a reaction and it seems like he’s got one .... but if it were me I’d be buggered if I’d let him know. Just blank him as usual and forget about it

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 30/04/2019 20:48

Sounds like he is trying to get to you through the medium of the dogs. That would be the sort of thing my XH would do. I can tell when things aren't going too well with New Wife when I get a message about irrelevant stuff. I would be tempted to ignore.

MrsMozartMkII · 30/04/2019 20:48

Blank blank blankety blank him.

Not his dogs. Nowt to do with him.

scotgal2017 · 01/05/2019 12:51

Thanks, have decided just to blank and get on with living my life!

OP posts:
WhoKnewBeefStew · 01/05/2019 13:21

Just ignore him and his stupid games

NameChangeNugget · 01/05/2019 15:36

Agree with the majority here.

Blank him, starve the oxygen of fire

NameChangeNugget · 01/05/2019 15:37

Fire of oxygen even

Biscuit for me

Raspberrytruffle · 01/05/2019 16:26

I'd say oh sorry I'd not advise that they are not good with strangers

OldAndWornOut · 01/05/2019 16:31

Maybe something has happened with his woman, like splitting up or something?

Erignon · 01/05/2019 16:54

Ignore. Don't engage. It's trap.

likeridingabike · 01/05/2019 17:13

My exH wanted access to the dog, absolutely not happening, it was all part of his plot to remain in contact with me and to have an excuse to come to the house. Blank him, don't engage.

Lllot5 · 01/05/2019 17:15

He’s not interested in the dogs he’s trying to get at you. Ignore him.

Foxmuffin · 01/05/2019 17:18

I suspect it’s on the rocks with the OW and he’s creeping to get back in your good books just in case he needs a plan B.

EKGEMS · 01/05/2019 17:26

He is probably trying to play dearest dad to some woman with your children and his dogs to make him look more domesticated and gentle

crappyday2018 · 01/05/2019 21:20

Always always ignore! He wants to engage with you. Don't fall for it.

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