I just dont know what to do anymore.

[Chachababa99]

I have a young 6 month old baby. And been with the dad 2.5 years. We have a very toxic relationship and we break up all the time and are back on. My family dont accept him. This puts a strain on. Recently I moved out and got my own place because things got so bad. To give us both space and I'm still here. But again we have tried to reconcile and just end up fighting again and again. I love this person so much. I almost think I'm addicted to the push and pull. And I feel like I cant let go of him because he is the father of my child. The latest argument has been the most explosive. He never commented about my appearance before but now has called me fat and ugly. He says I'll never get anyone as good as him again that I have used him and that he will out do me in every way in life. He also says our son will grow up to favour him and that I am a Terrible mum because I am struggling with Post natal depression and find it hard to get outdoors every day. He also has started to mention things about an old ex as if she is better than me and that he will start seeing her again. I am basically on the floor. He will not speak to me I've called him a few times today about the baby but he will not answer my calls or texts. He usually does this but if I call him enough times he will answer then we try to reconcile. I know I should let go of this but how do I? I feel very trapped by my emotions.

You're doing what you've always done, repeating the same pattern, and you know it doesn't work.

You know chasing him and letting him back in is not tge right thing. If you can't break the cycle for yourself, break it for your baby.

Do it differently this time because this time you have a child and you need to put them first. They don't deserve to grow up in this toxic environment.

Time to put your baby first.

You know you have a toxic relationship, you’ve stated it in your OP.

You will cause your child immense damage if you continue this relationship.

So you have to love your child more than you love this man, prioritise your child over your own feelings, don’t be selfish, do what’s right for your son.

I do love the baby more than him that's why I got us our own place. I just need some tips on staying strong. It's hard when you are a shell of the person u where before.

My family dont accept him

There's a very good reason for that. He is abusing you.

Don't call him again.

I'm sure you're a good mum and I am also sure when you get this toxicity out of your life, your PND will also start to get better.

Focus on you and your baby. Don't call him. Ignore him if he calls you, let his ex have him. Concentrate on your child and creating a nice life for you both.

Are you receiving help from your GP for your PND?

"If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got."

That's something that was said to me years ago when I was in a toxic relationship. Hopefully it strikes a cord with you like it did me.

These "men" never change. Soon as you accept that, things will get easier.