Just found out I'm pregnant and don't know what to do

[Stressedmummyof4]

I'm a mum to 3 kiddies and sadly lost a baby I haven't been feeling too well for a few weeks sore tummy etc, yesterday I felt quite sick all day. This morning I've realised that I haven't had a period for a while. But tbh I'm really quite overweight and my periods haven't exactly been regular.

I bought a first response this morning and low and behold it's positive.

My dp is quite a bit older than me currently in his 50's. I've phoned him and he's gutted, he says there's no way we're going to manage. We can't afford it, don't have space and as one of my kids is sen and has behavioural problems he really doesn't think we'll cope.

I honestly don't know how I feel, my initial reaction was shock but I just feel really upset. I don't know if it's upset at being pregnant or upset at the fact my dp isn't on board.

I have no idea how far along I am I'm guessing about 8 weeks possibly.
I'm not even really sure why I am writing but I need to vent I think.

My younger two were both c cection my last one I had complications with about 7 years ago. Ended up back in hospital for a week afterwards. I think he's worried about that too as he nearly lost me

You have to make the right decision for you. Was the child you lost planned? If not then maybe your husband should consider a vasectomy if you're finished having children.

Hi Musti, yes my wee baby was planned it would have been my second baby. I think we are both in shock. And yes I agree he is needing to speak to his gp if he is so adamant that he wants no more x

Hello I know your situation I have 3 children eldest has sen too and we lost our 4th early pregnancy but then I became pregnant again couple of months after the loss. But my partner too wasn’t over the moon about another child coming into the world but I saw it as a second chance as I was completely devastated by the loss. But I said I’m not going to abort and he came around in the end. Im so happy I made my decision. I’m now 39 weeks pregnant and coping well even though I’ve had a hell of a day with my eldest I still don’t regret keeping my baby.
I agree with the other person I have told my parter unless he wants another child he will have to have vasectomy as I don’t want to go on pills for the rest of my fertile life.

But the decision is yours do what you feels right for yourself first as you will be the one going through it all.

Oh and we don’t have space either but we will make it work. We live in a 2 bed flat it’s tiny my partner built a bunk bed that has 3 beds it’s L shape with stairs in the middle. It’s ok for now but once they get bigger space will be an issue for us

Well, ultimately it's your body and your choice. Your dh's concerns seem reasonable tho, and you have to think about the impact of another child on the children already here and everyone's quality of life. Give yourself a bit of time to get over the shock and see how you feel.

Thank you so much. I did not sleep at all last night and I completely take on board my partners reasons I truly do. We have ended up butting heads this morning over it. I've told him that I felt I couldn't do it and that I wouldn't ask anything of him but didn't feel I could live with myself. He has told me that he feels that we can't get past this. Either way we go we'll end up resentful of each other. He's not nasty and I agree with what he is saying. He also told me last night that he would be going to get the snip. At that point we were both talking like I was phoning today to make an appointment for myself. But I haven't slept and woke this morning unable to make that call. I so wish I could talk to my mum x

If he was so sure you couldn't afford another child, why was he having unprotected sex with you (and it very much sounds like he knew you're weren't doing anything reliable to prevent it either)??

He can get the snip but it's a tad too late.

I think he's acting incredibly unfairly.

There have been several threads like this on here recently; in all cases the couple wasn't using any contraception but the man wants the woman to have an abortion .. what a shitty, irresponsible, foolish, immoral way of behaving.