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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Holiday - AIBU or is this same old behaviour

7 replies

Queenofroutine · 29/04/2019 19:47

Name changed for this. Been going through a difficult time with DH over a long period of time which I’ve posted about before. Culminated in a hideous holiday last year where he sulked for days, wouldn’t speak to us, said some horrible things & basically brought me to the brink of calling it a day after 20 odd years of similar behaviour. I’m still here, however, as DD has exams this year & I recently decided that another holiday would really test if he’s changed after all our discussion.

So far we can’t even get as far as agreeing a duration - I’m saying 7 days as I secretly feel if things are bad it’s shorter (& I prefer a week as I get easily bored). He says he can’t relax enough unless we do at least 10 days & isn’t prepared to go anywhere for as short as 7. So it’s his way or no holiday it seems. Not sure if I’m being selfish or he’s just showing again that he hasn’t changed at all.

OP posts:
Whichwayfoward · 29/04/2019 19:50

Let him go ahead of you and you can join him.

HollowTalk · 29/04/2019 19:51

You know what the definition of madness is, don't you? Grin

Queenofroutine · 29/04/2019 19:56

Hollow talk 😂😂😂

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 29/04/2019 20:27

Sorry, couldn't help it! But why on earth would you go on another holiday after last year's fiasco?!

HollowTalk · 29/04/2019 20:28

I'd tell him he can have a nice long holiday on his own, starting this weekend. A few decades should do it.

Meanwhile book yourself a holiday with your DC and have a lovely time.

Queenofroutine · 29/04/2019 20:50

Hollow talk it made me laugh which can’t be a bad thing. I guess I’m doing the thing I’ve read several others doing (ie waiting for a big enough sign to call it a day) - I know how pathetic that sounds. The very fact I’m worried about going away with him should tell me everything I need to know. And, if he really wanted to prove we could have a lovely time away & he wouldn’t be the same he wouldn’t be acting so pig headed this early on.😕

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 29/04/2019 21:01

You've said he's been the same for 20 years. How long are you prepared to wait for him to change into a decent person?

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