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Relationships

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Perplexed

2 replies

Cobblersandhogwash · 29/04/2019 14:16

I'm a bit sad about a friend who has dumped me. I don't know why.

We've been friends since university 23 years ago. Always got on well, had a laugh etc. Got it together one drunken night at university but have only ever been friends.

Made an effort to see each other about five or six times a year. Always had a laugh.

Supported each other during times of crisis on the telephone mostly.

He got back together with an ex about three years ago. This ex had treated him badly in the past, leaving him in quite a bad state. He'd been in relationships since but always thought this ex was the one he truly loved.

I expressed doubt about this reunion - he was ecstatic about it - but really and genuinely wished him well.

We spoke a few times since and he put me on the phone to her one time. She was equally thrilled. She's got three children. We chatted amicably. I know her a bit from before. All seemed wonderful for them. I was relieved and happy for him.

Things went quiet. I got that he was in the throes of a massive love affair so didn't bother to trouble him apart from one suggestion to meet up but he'd already arranged a secret romantic weekend away in my suggested date.

A year later I got a message from him on FB saying it had all fallen apart and that he was abroad, trying to get his head together. I told him we should meet up when he got back etc and how sorry I was to hear his news. I genuinely was sorry but kind of knew it would happen. I didn't say that bit of course!!

Anyway he's since blanked all my messages for about a year now. In a fit of childish drunken pique, I recently blocked him on FB. He's now unfriended me on FB. This used to be our main platform of communication so it matters in this instance.

I can't think what I've done. I always thought we were good friends. He was always supportive and told me I was supportive to him.

I've sent him a final message wishing him all the best in his new job and that I'm sad we aren't friends. That's all I will ever send him now.

I just feel very sad about this friend. Do you think my initial lack of enthusiasm for his reunion with his ex made him think I wasn't really a good friend?

Anyway, being ghosted is really unpleasant! 😔

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 29/04/2019 14:25

If he is lucky he has got her out of his system.

If that is true it could be that you have been cut out as you know too much about it, maybe are even a reminder of what he went through.

Whatever his motive, you have become collateral damage and there is nothing you can do about it. You last message seems a fitting place to leave it!

Cobblersandhogwash · 29/04/2019 15:20

Yea. I thought perhaps he might have wanted to start completely afresh.

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