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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

How do I move on.

13 replies

Melkim40 · 29/04/2019 06:51

My partner of almost two years ended our relationship on Saturday. Despite still being in love with me, he admitted that he cannot cope with my 14yr old son who has ADHD, he can be volatile and disrespectful. I am completely broken. I don't know how to move on from this. I knew he was struggling but did not expect this at all. Can't eat or sleep. Please help!

OP posts:
FuriousVexation · 29/04/2019 06:54

I'm sorry, that sounds really hurtful.

Parenting DC with SEN is dificult and we need to recognise that it will have a lifelong impact on all our relationships.

Original poster
Melkim40 · 29/04/2019 07:07

DS has got worse in the last 6 months since his pathetic excuse for a father stopped contact. He is angry and takes it out on everyone. He obviously isn't aware of the reasons behind my relationship breakdown. My partner tried his best with him, but I have dealt with it for 14yrs and have learnt to not take it to heart and remind myself that is his condition and not him.

OP posts:
BuzzPeakWankBobbly · 29/04/2019 07:15

You need to get through the grief. It will take time. It does take time.

You have an added layer of complexity with your son too.

I'm sorry you are struggling. Just take it one day at a time. One hour at a time if needs be.

Original poster
Melkim40 · 29/04/2019 07:31

Thank you. I am really struggling because of how deeply I love him. He says he feels like he is going insane and tense when he is in my son's company or we are on our way over to his. Obviously I don't want him feeling like this, but he would never take my advice or use any of the strategies that I suggested to deal with an ADHD flare up.

OP posts:
BuzzPeakWankBobbly · 29/04/2019 07:40

Melkim can I recommend you this book?

It spoke to me in a way that no "self help" book has ever done (cynical old bat here). There's one chapter which starts with "my dear" and it made me cry, it felt so comforting!

www.amazon.co.uk/Manual-Heartache-Cathy-Rentzenbrink/dp/1509824464/?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Time WILL heal you, I promise. Just have faith in that when things feel so bleak.

NameChangeNugget · 29/04/2019 08:12

All you can do is give this time. There really isn’t a magic cure.

Original poster
Melkim40 · 29/04/2019 18:39

Thankyou everybody. I managed to get through today. Cried alot and missing him loads but feel proud that I got through it.
I will check out the book #buzzpeakwankbobbly#

OP posts:
BuzzPeakWankBobbly · 29/04/2019 20:41

Keep going Melkim.
It's shitty and it's hard and it hurts.

But it gets easier.

ThanksThanksThanks

Original poster
Melkim40 · 29/04/2019 21:05

Thank you again. I will keep going. Xxx

OP posts:
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 13/05/2019 21:55

@Melkim40 was thinking about you today, how are you getting on? ThanksThanksThanks

Original poster
Melkim40 · 13/05/2019 22:29

Aww bless you. I'm ok. Still miss him but we met for a coffee over the weekend and talked. I managed to get through it without crying. I am focussing on me and my son. Joined a local bootcamp and bought a hamster! Grin It's gonna be a long road. Weekends are tough but just trying to keep busy.
Thanks so much for your message! Made me smile! Smile

OP posts:
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 13/05/2019 23:36

You already sound more positive than your first post which is wonderful to hear. Well done you on the boot camp and hamster!

Time is beginning to heal you, slowly slowly.

Keep going x

Original poster
Melkim40 · 14/05/2019 06:03

Thank you so much. Xxxx

OP posts:
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