Anyone ever just ran away from a good life?

[RunAwayWifey]

There's nothing specifically wrong with my life.
Married for 4 years, together for 7.
No kids.
Own our own house.
I have a good job for where I live and my age. Husband works in a NMW job but is happy.
No debt. Decent savings. Spare cash each month.

But having said all that I am just not happy. I spend half my time thinking of how amazing it would be to just run away. I feel dread in the pit of my stomach when I think that this is my life now forever.

I want to just wake up and book a flight and disappear and travel and live and not be tied down to reality.

I do love my husband but at the same time I do regret settling down so young and feel I rushed into the relationship. We're totally different people who want different things.

Has anyone ever just got up and walked away from a perfectly good life to do something random or exciting? Did it go well or did you regret it? Am I being ridiculous?

This isn't a new feeling for me. Every few years I will get claustrophobic about life and try to change something eg. New job, move house, etc. But ultimately these are all surface changes and make no difference.

How old are you?

What would your DH say if you said to him what you've said here? Would it 'destroy' him, or might he also shrug, glad someone has said it?

How would you feel if your DH casually mentioned this to you, tomorrow, that he wants 'out'?

Why can’t you run away together?

I totally get you. For me it's boredom of the same drudgery .. same people at work everyday, same desk, same conversations, passing the same people on my commute everyday.... BORING. I have a gooid paid job, nice house, enough cash (within reason) yet i crave excitement, something different, a different country .. I would happily take a lower paid job abroad, non office. I don't know if it will ever happen for me but I can hope and plan in the short term.
Sorry OP no real answers for you I'm afraid just that you're not alone and I totally get it

I often feel this too. Everything is great on paper but I fantasise about running away, never a specific fantasy just a general sense that I’m trapped and will look back on my life when I’m older wondering how I let all the days blur into one.

This is me. I totally get it. Although Ive been settled here for 6 years now, steady job etc., Ive moved countless times and left behind a charmed life in the south of England when I turned thirty. Never married, no kids.

I sometimes think that Jerry Rafferty song Baker Street sums it up well (a rolling stone ...)

I just think that some people are better suited to a nomadic existence.

Feel free to ignore this post - maybe like others have said you are understandably sick of the drudgery of typical lives. Maybe you have a personality where you ought to do something off the beaten path.

But

You also seem to say - in your final paragraph - that this is a repetitive feeling and yet when you’ve acted on it in the past you haven’t become happier.

Maybe you should consider if there are some deeper psychological issues at play.

Might there be some unresolved issues (trauma, anxiety, lack of self worth) in your earlier life that makes you have an impulse to ‘run away’ or make changes so that you ‘stay busy’?

Might the repeated upheavals be some sort of self-destructive behaviour?
www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201512/understanding-self-destructive-dysregulated-behaviors

Just sounds like wunderlust? Use a little bit of savings or whatever and go on lots of flits. Go see the opera, climb a mountain and make a pot. I hope that doesn't sound patronising. Try something completely different everyday. All of the hobbies!

Then you don't have a good life then, do you? You just have a 'good enough' life. Time to do something different, and if just doing something different or just changing your daily landscape isn't enough long term, then possibly it's time to change the way you think/approach life. Otherwise you'll carry on working your way through 6-yearly 'groundhog' cycles all the rest of your life.

I'm stuck at the moment. Trying to work out what would actually makes life truly fulfilling. It's hard. I've spent a life drifting (sadly, not 'drifting' cars🙂) and I know it's not enough for me but I have all the intellectual depth of a saucer of water so don't reckon I'll ever be able to work it out for myself...

Yeah my ex! No Idea where the bugger is!! 🤣x

If you have spare cash, what is stopping you from booking a weekend away ? Or hire or buy a caravan or camper van
Or go to some festivals or theatre
You need to make the effort
If you have no children, you can get some real bargains for out of school holiday travel. Also Easter & Ryanair flights can be booked a year in advance cheaply.
What is stopping you ?

I know a couple of people that live alternative lives. They work for 6 months in their home country where they get paid well. Then they spend 6 months abroad working on a lesser wage with access to their preferred hobby or others travel for the 6 months. However, these people do not own their own property
I know someone else who works 2 jobs, owns property & travels lots doing short breaks

Your feelings are not strange or unusual. But it is time for you to think more seriously about how you can act on them .

If you did go travelling or lived abroad for a while, would you like your husband to come with you? That's the first decision!

Would your work let you take a sabbatical?

Spend some time having a serious think about your options. You don't have to burn your bridges. But you might want to!

A lot of people are looking for the purpose of life.
You are in a very fortunate position. So many people are struggling and they'd love to have a house and a decent job etc but it just shows that money isn't everything.

Find your purpose and go from there.

I've been fortunate that my employer has permitted a month off as holiday each year, for a few years & I've travelled around Asia & New Zealand. I've also done lots of short breaks. I thought that this would stop me wanting to travel, but it has only made me want to travel more !
I'm not in a position to take a year off or retire yet.
However, I do have plans to retire a little early if possible & travel more & I've put some things in place to do this
I know someone, who was retired & went to teach English in an Eastern European country for 6 months, paid for own flights, lived with teachers
If you want it, you will find a way !
My life has not been easy, I've had good & bad times. I know I am lucky to do what I enjoy