Split from ex 21 months ago. It's been horrible and he has been shit at seeing our 2 dc. He swans in and out as he pleases. Can go for 3 weeks with no contact then gives me an hour's notice saying he wants to see them, which I then facilitate because they miss him.
He has also been banned from driving for quite a long period of time because of drink driving.
Today he gave me an hour's notice and I rushed to get kids out to him. He spent the afternoon with them while I went and saw friends. He then asked for a lift home (he lives rurally, no buses on Sunday). I said yes. In car on way home in front of dc we end up arguing. I ask him to get out of car, he refuses. This goes on for about 20 mins until I give in and take him home.
This is the final straw in a long list of similar situations. I'm a mug but I'm doing it to facilitate contact with dc. I blocked him once for a month and it resulted in him not seeing dc and them crying for him (they are young).
Please help me!! I honestly do not know what to do. His family are useless and toxic so I can't and won't ask their help. If I asked someone to help with handovers he'd just end up not turning up so it would waste everyone's time and disappoint dc. He says he can't do regular contact as that's not the way he works. I want to go no contact with him because the problem is between him and I not the dc. But then they wouldn't see him. I feel stuck and helpless.