Am I overreacting or am I right?

[IJustDontLikeGin]

Husband and I broke up. Whilst we were seperate I saw someone and he had an interest in someone that was ultimately not reciprocated but he very much fancied her and they met a few times.

Now we are trying again a few years down the line.

He still talks to her and he left himself logged in on my phone on messenger and a message from her popped up.

I clicked on it and he had written 'how are you today lovely xyz' and then send heart emojis.

He is mad because I looked.

I know it's bad but he's saying she is just her friend and that's all and I'm in the wrong for looking (agree)

But he's done nothing wrong.

I asked if he calls his male 'friends' lovely and sends them hearts

He asked why I'm acting like I'm 10 years old because ei wanted him to admit he still fancies her

I really wabted to make this work. But the trust is gone isn't it :(

I'm sorry for typos. I've had a drink and I never drink. I'm just so sad

I think you're better off without him. You separated for a reason.

Sorry hun. He might be back with you because this ow did not reciprocate. He may still want to keep that door open...just in case.

You deserve better than this. The fact he is mad you looked is also not great. My husband has no problem with me using his phone and shows no interest in what apps I use.

In order for this to work, you both need to be on the same page and it doesn’t sound like you are yet. Maybe it’ll work out with a bit more effort, but either way I wish you happiness in your future whatever happens.

“How are you today lovely?” .... with hearts.

I am sorry, OP. This doesn't sound like a man who wants to try again. He still fancies her and wants her to know.

Don’t allow him to shift blame to you for checking when her message popped up. You needed to know the status of your relationship. It’s good that you did. He is betraying you.

Would he like it if you were messaging the man you dated, calling him pet names and sending him hearts?

I would not like that one bit

Nope this isn’t someone who’s committed to trying to make his relationship work again.. this may sound harsh, but I think you’re the consolation prize as he the other woman didn’t want him

I feel he's only with you because the other woman didn't want him, and he's making sure he keeps a dooor open for her in case she changes her mind - then he'd be off like a shot.

Doesn't sound good to me at all. He's the one acting like a child, texting a woman on the sly

If she wanted him sounds like he would run, not walk. You deserve better

"Trying again"

What was the agreement around this? Full exclusivity from the start? Or "see how it goes"?

How many years is it since you were married?

Why was he using your phone anyway? Of course you were going to check any messages that came in. It just as well you did. But his heart isn't with you, OP. Give up on this one.

I agree with Queen, he's keeping his options open. If this woman gives him so much as a sniff of a chance he'll be gone in a shot or at the very least have an affair.

You can do better OP , much better, why let this man bring you down . Fuck that , LTB xx

No one talks to their friends like that. He still wants more and would be gone in a shot if she opened that door.

Leave him pining after someone who doesn’t want him and move on with your life

Thanks for the replies.

He says I can't tell him who he can talk to and she's just a friend. But she's not is she if he felt that way about her. And still doensi think

He's been sending messages and love hearts to another woman on your phone and he's cross you looked?

Come on OP, you know this isnt going to work.

People don't talk to their friends like that, don't let him gaslight you

Only you know what he's like when he interacts with women he does and doesn't fancy. If this is not how he would normally text to a woman he doesn't have an interest in, then he's not committed to you. At all.