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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

I have been lending my line manger money....

38 replies

HellsB69 · 27/04/2019 23:58

Please can I have some advice? For almost 9 months my line manager has been asking me to lend her money. I agreed each time to start with as I was being paid back as and when we agreed Out of work we had a growing friendship and would often talk on the phone during the evenings. I didn't like to think of her struggling to pay her rent and genuinely wanted to be charitable and help.
Slowly the lengthy phone calls and her attitude at work changed towards me, mainly due to the fact that I refused to lend her money on one occasion. She made me feel used and I noticed that there was a distinct divide being created and that she was using her authority against me.
Just recently though I woke to a message offering me a half day in exchange for a further loan. I saw this as being accepted by her and the friendship potentially getting back to how it was so I gave her the money and she allowed me to finish at lunchtime.
This was a big mistake though and I feel that she realised very quickly shed bribed me. She was telling me her boss was being unkind about me, wanted me gone and had reported me to HR. This brought on a huge anxiety attack of which she wasn't expecting and to keep the anxiety attack away from everyone and the fact her lies may be uncovered she again sent me home. She promised me she would arrange it to look as though I had taken a last minute days holiday but in fact she put it down as sick asked me to complete a return to work form but then never processed it.
I am aware I shouldn't have lent her money or agreed to her bribe of half a day so I came clean to HR and reported her.
She is now suspended pending investigation but will I be punished for my part, which in reality I was genuinely only trying to help?

OP posts:

Mrsmummy90 · 28/04/2019 00:05

I don't have much advice but didn't want to read and run.
She sounds awful and I hope that HR sort her out and see you as the victim in this situation (which you are).
Sending you a hug xx

Drochaid · 28/04/2019 00:12

Oh dear, what a mess. I hope it gets resolved.

Longsight2019 · 28/04/2019 01:00

You won’t be punished as HR will see that she has manipulated and bullied you as your superior. She’s abused her position and will face the consequences.

FuriousVexation · 28/04/2019 02:49

Depends which industry you work in and how long for. If you've been employed for at least 2 yrs then you have full rights.

Purpleartichoke · 28/04/2019 02:51

She gave you a half day, with pay, in exchange for a private loan? That isn’t a bribe, it’s fraud. You are risking your job.

Birdie6 · 28/04/2019 03:00

You need to be totally honest with the HR people. You are not totally blameless here - by accepting time off as "payment" for a loan you were defrauding the company and you must have known it was wrong. You need to come clean and face the music, I'm sorry.

Zoflorabore · 28/04/2019 06:24

How awful op. Has she been in touch with you since her suspension and more importantly, have you kept the messages she sent you?

You have been taken advantage of. She has abused her position of authority and this could potentially lose you your job. I hope that isn't the case.
You need to seek proper legal advice

Needsomebottle · 28/04/2019 06:30

I think if they've already taken action in suspending her they'd have notified you if you were under investigation. I'm sure they'll want to question you but more in relation to her investigation.

Ask for a meeting, tell them your concerns. It is complete abuse of position on her part. You've come clean and reported her. Well done, that must have taken some real courage and I'm sure they will see that.

lljkk · 28/04/2019 07:03

Wow, let us know what happened, OP. I can't see you should be held to blame, though.

CupoTeap · 28/04/2019 07:33

Maybe get this moved to employment issues.

She was in a position of authority and should never have used this to get money from you.

Mooey89 · 28/04/2019 07:37

What an awful situation

dudsville · 28/04/2019 07:41

I would speak to someone at work in confidence and see if you can add your experiences to the investigation against your manager. The missy ideal puddings is that she doesn't return to get post and your data might help that.

Bringbackthestripes · 28/04/2019 07:45

Are you in a union? She has seriously abused her position. Well done for going to HR though. You haven’t done anything wrong work wise. I hope it is all quickly resolved.

NotStayingIn · 28/04/2019 08:22

Well done on going to HR, that must have been very difficult.

I don’t know the legal in and outs but I want to give you my honest opinion on how I would feel if I worked with you. I would now have trust issues. I get that you were manipulated, but at the end of the day you were involved in defrauding the company. I would think you are either very open to manipulation, or very stupid, or actually a bit underhand. I get people are saying you were manipulated, but you paid someone money to falsify your work records so you could take leave you weren’t entitled to. That’s not nothing. So you may have a bit of work to do to build relationships with more then just your bosses.

The fact you went to HR is great and hopefully they will let it go. I was thinking if I were you I would be looking for a job elsewhere anyway, but the reference might now be a problem. I can’t see how they could give you a good one knowing what they do. So stay put and continue to work collaboratively with HR. Sorry you are going through this.

Lefty1 · 28/04/2019 08:25

I very much doubt you will get punished , I’m a manager and what you’ve described is abuse of her power , you could argue that you was scared of losing your job if you said no , reporting it was definitely the right thing as it would have only became worse. Well done OP for being brave

Circlegame · 28/04/2019 08:28

You will have to let the procedures run their course and be honest about what happened. I can understand why you did what you did but you know it was wrong so reported. In my profession there would be an investigation and you would get union support. I can guess the outcome but I wouldnt know for sure.

PhilCornwall · 28/04/2019 08:59

With my Managers head on, I would advise you to read your employers Policies and Procedures on misconduct.

The lending of money to a work colleague in itself should be nothing to do with your employer if it causes no problem (although I wouldn't recommend doing it), however it crossed in to being their issue when your Manager started playing games and ultimately offered you unauthorised leave for money. You accepted this, so you have done wrong.

If you were to ask me what I think would happen, I would guess at your Manager being dismissed and you receiving a final written warning, but this does depend on the type of business you are in.

If you do stay, over time it will get known what happened and colleagues will potentially lose respect. Ultimately I would look for another job and leave quietly.

PurplePiePete · 28/04/2019 09:05

This happened where I worked. Assistant was cash funding manager’s substance abuse. When it was reported, the manager was already being shown the door for various reasons but it enabled the assistant to exit with a remarkable package because of the various layers of potential claims against the company

PurplePiePete · 28/04/2019 09:06

(Assistant wanted to leave, was not requested ty)

Boulezvous · 28/04/2019 10:14

I personally don't think you should or would be punished - your colleague should be sacked for gross misconduct. It was abuse of power and you were manipulated, she had the power to make you lose your job or seriously harm your work record if you didn't comply was blackmailing/bribing you. It's very serious and she could be referred to the police.

You should ensure you get your account of the situation across to HR. You need to protect yourself more in future - don't lend bosses money and be wary of such 'friendships' it's not an equal relationship.

SouthWestmom · 28/04/2019 10:34

It's not black and white is it. She has a message too you and you accepting where you pay her for half a day off.

I would expect this to get messy and although I get that you felt there was a power imbalance you also engaged in a friendship outside work and only raised a concern when you felt your job was under pressure.

LynetteScavo · 28/04/2019 11:28

You've done the right thing reporting to HR.

Telling you it's a mess isn't helpful- you know that.

I can't offer any advice, but well done for reporting , it's the first step out of the mess.

HollowTalk · 28/04/2019 11:31

I think your line manager is completely in the wrong and will be fired. I don't think you will be fired and don't think you should be disciplined, given you dobbed her in to HR.

InTheHeatofLisbon · 28/04/2019 11:37

Just recently though I woke to a message offering me a half day in exchange for a further loan. I saw this as being accepted by her and the friendship potentially getting back to how it was so I gave her the money and she allowed me to finish at lunchtime.

If you still have the message, she should be very worried indeed. She has abused her position as line manager in order to get money from you. So in effect, she was proposing that work funded her loan by paying you when you weren't there.

I'm not a legal expert, but that strikes me as gross misconduct at best!!!
Good luck with HR, tell them EVERYTHING.

SouthWestmom · 28/04/2019 11:38

The op accepted the offer though. I think that muddies the waters.

Op write a time line of everything for yourself and check what your absence was like - any other time off that wasn't properly recorded that she could use or is it ok accurate?

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