Please help me find my libido!!

[harrietkatie]

I have been with my current partner for three years. We live together and everything is great! I have a 7 year old and they both get on really well.

The last year my libido has just disappeared. I literally couldn't care less about having sex. It's not important to me and I'm happy in a sexless relationship.

I'm 30, and have always had a really high sex drive before this year. I am on sertraline, and have had the dose reduced as I know it can cause a low sex drive... but it still has t returned. The only other medication I take is roaccutane, but I've only been on that two weeks.

Why has this happened? I still fancy my partner, think he is attractive. He tries to initiate things but I just can never go through with it!

Is there anything that I can take that might help? Herbal or anything a doctor can prescribe?

Thanks guys!! I feel so bad for my partner and I guess I am starting to feel insecure as I keep dreaming that he will leave me or cheat on me! Mental I know lol xx

It must be your medication I think

I used to feel like this and I ended up just having sex anyway to make my partner feel good, he was quick anyway and it wasn’t hard to just pretend, sad but true.

It's the sertaline

And also once you get out of the habit you find it hard to get back into it so you have to keep doing it lol , sad but true

I've been looking for my libido for years. It is my honest belief that there is a large room of locked boxes in the maternity hospital where DS1 was born (21 years ago). Within the box marked 'propervexed' is my dignity, willpower, grey matter and libido. You might want to see what is in your box!

will it come back if I stop taking sertraline!?

Yes I was thinking I'll have to just do it to keep him happy but I feel bad! I've been honest with him though!! X

Which do you need most? Him or sertraline?

I could of written this myself! Apart from I was on citalopram! I came off it for this reason. Mentally I've been ok since, sex drive hasn't come back though, think I'm just not used to having it anymore I overthink it too much now and can't enjoy it!! Horrible! I'm only 28!

Are you not on a contraceptive as well as Roaccutane? Apologies if that's personal, but I know its not prescribed without definitive no risk of pregnancy.

It may be the medication, but also, have a little gentle no pressure cuddly sex a few times- the more sex you have the more it can come back- but if it doesn’t feel right don’t force it. Don’t do anything you don’t want to do but take some half way steps slowly and gently. SSRIs do really lower sex drive. Be kind to yourself and kind to him while you work it out. Don’t panic. You’ve been through a lot. It’s ok to not be all systems go sometimes. Xxx good luck sweetie

It could be the medication. Or it could be psychological. You're on antidepressants. It seems to me that there's something else mentally and emotionally going on in your life that could be causing you to lose your sex drive.

open.spotify.com/user/1180787358/playlist/1AH26HxVScnswR3cnZksfg?si=7IxuSLQLRAuj2ibTbVoBVA

(just skip the ones you you don't like)

I don't think it's a case of choosing medication or my partner, I think that's a bit ridiculous really. My partner is extremely understanding, luckily.

We did have sex this morning, and I just don't know why we don't do it more as it was great. I do find it harder to climax as well since being on sertraline. It can take forever!!

There's definitely nothing wrong with our relationship. I know sometimes that can be an issue for others. But I am besotted with this guy! Truly am. I just don't have a libido and that's it!

Think we shall just take things slowly.

and yes on roaccutane you have to be on a form of contraception. X

Try and capture the feeling you had after sex this morning. Remind yourself of it every now and then. This is a man you love and you enjoy having sex with.

Yes you are right!! Thank you xx