needing advice...marriage breaking down..

[needsadvice]

oh i hope, i hope the name change works....

i'll try and keep it short.... i've been married to my husband since 2004, we have a 3 year old son and due to horrible circumstances last year, i left him to live in a refuge (with our son) in sept. 2006. (*no physical violence i should point out, only mental abuse) - we reconciled just after xmas 2006 and i moved back into our house.

now, months on, things are not working out. i am worried to be writing here about it. the marriage is falling apart all over again and i dont know what to do about it.

i have contacted the CAB about my rights etc and if i continue to live in the household with my husband whilst we are separated i will not (apparently) qualify for any benefits (save for child benefit that i already get) i dont know what to do.

the marriage is becoming unbearable and we've been to counselling. its just a matter of we're not right for each other. i dont have a job and have no way of supporting myself outside him and the £18 a week i get from child benefit.

i truly dont know what to do....
(i dont have any local friends and my family are very far away)

suezee> thanks for that...i am waiting for the housing benefit and rent loan scheme papers to come in the post.. if i get income support, i will only get £57 a week for myself. my husband will give support for our son, so there may not be need to get CSA involved. (when we were separated last year, he gave support and CSA did not get involved.)

as for legal fees, as i have no income now save for child benefit and the £20 a week dh gives me, i will apply for legal help and then legal aid.

onedaysoon,
just wondering how you've been doing...

not had much time for MN lately.
things still not so good here, if not worse. i feel as if i've backed myself into a corner. dh is very good at subtley taking down any confidence i may muster back up

and i am so worried of the affect it will have on our son if we separate yet still live in one house

you will get 57 quid for urself......and u will also get money for ur son off income support also, usualy about 60 pounds.....plus ur child benefit so u will about 130 pounds a week, and ur rent will be paid fr u.

have u progressed any further on accomodation??????.try not to feel so dpwn abut the situation, you will be better of when u can move into ur own place with ds.are u currently living as a seperated couple or are u keeping the pretence up?????

fawkeoff> well, if i get approved for benefits while living in the same house. i cant make the application until he and i are actually separated (i intend to confirm this with the income support people..) (but its sounds true enough.)

i need to phone the housing people again. more questions for them....

we are not separated yet.
but its coming soon.

strange you say that, my counseller told me last week that its like i'm an actor in a play....