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Relationships

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Any advice please?!?

5 replies

Thecrown3 · 27/04/2019 04:31

This is a bit long- partner with health problems- but could really do with advice/perspective...

My oh of 3 years, today told me that the reason why he’s not loving lately, doesn’t bother with me is that because he’s not felt love for a while and been faking it to try make it.
I’m deeply hurt/upset and angry as I’ve been feeling that’s the case for about a month and pulled him on it on a few occasions.But previously he’s always adamant he does love me, so today’s confession floored me but confirmed what I thought.

I finished work early to come home to resolve and he went out as said couldn’t handle talking atm an would talk later. So I spent all afternoon v upset.
When he arrived finally and we talked and I got upset, telling him that I felt his heart health problems had strained our relationship this past year( he got a heart condition on holiday which is one of a few health problems arising since we got together) and the tests, treatments, worry has really taken its toll on me - but the complete denial of it and no changes ( which he needs to make for his health, are all taking their toll.He agreed he could see that and does love me, does wanna continue on, but now I’m hurt, there’s also a part of me that doubts it a little just because he’s realised how difficult moving out and sorting himself will be on his own.
I’m normally a reasonable person and would give him time to find a place, but atm I’m so hurt he’s been putting no effort in an blaming me too, I feel like kicking him out whether he’s sorted or not.Im also at a point where if he really wants me, then living together or not he’s got to sort himself out, also if he really wants me he ll work towards it every bloody hr.
But it’s not in me to fight anymore, it would be easier to carry on and hope he changes but the little voice says this won’t change.

Any advice or perspective anyone?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 27/04/2019 04:44

This relationship is over. He has checked out and is out the door and down the hall. Don't waste one more minute of your life on him.

Patchworksack · 27/04/2019 05:14

Tell him to go. You both need some time to re-evaluate, and either he does 'work towards it every bloody hour' or he's gone for good. V sorry, OP, it must feel crappy, but I think you are flogging a dead horse. Pretty rubbish thanks for your support through his health issues. Flowers

midsummabreak · 27/04/2019 05:27

When he says he was faking it to make it , does he mean his health was still impacting his energy levels for intimacy

midsummabreak · 27/04/2019 05:29

Or he means he ' lost that lovin' feeling ' ?
If its the latter its over, if its the poor health and reduced energy levels, different story

Thecrown3 · 27/04/2019 06:59

Interesting one- his health issues affect his energy levels massively an although he would deny it, the various medications he’s on affect his libido too.
So with very little intimacy it’s gets harder.

OP posts:
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