should I seperate from my husband?

[user1494621907]

This is hard to write.My husband has never been perfect, a police officer, I have been with him for 22 years and married for 20 years, we have two grown up children.I have always supported his career, and been through his shift work, nights, weekends which was very difficult with young children.At one point at this time I had a breakdown, after moving to a new town, his job, and having a father with cancer.Since then I am not sure I have forgiven him, my father recovered and I cannot fault his care and help until his death 2 years ago.He has always dreamed of his retirement and when he will walk walk and walk in spain or wherever, I cannot do this as I have hip displasyia, and can only walk so far(hip replacement in the next couple of years), but Ijust do not feel that he gives a damn about me.when is it time to let go? children are 18 and 21, I know he still fancies me, but he does not care about my feelings and since he has retired, just buggers off swimming, gym, choir, and whatever he feels like.But still expects me to cook and clean for him without any respect, he is a complete c*t and I feel that I should leave, any advice?

Have you explained to him how you feel, tried to make joint plans and planned for his retirement together ...or just headed into it hoping that once he's away from his stressful job it would all fall into place? It sounds like he's still in police mode and I'm afraid it's most likely that he always will be.

If you dreamed of sharing time together once the job had finished then you're likely to be disappointed-it sounds like he's replaced the police with other things that take up his time and interest him and it's unlikely he even gives a thought to what you could do.

Talk to him, set out what you'd like to do-retirement at a young age should be fun and together.

If you can't find a middle ground that makes you both happy then you'll have to decide if you stay in the same position it sounds as if you have been throughout the marriage or if you want something different on your own!

Is there something you both enjoy? I mean you do not have to spend every moment of your waking time together, do you?