I can’t work out of in being totally unreasonable or not...
We have been married for 16yrs, 3 kids 12,8,2.
I Work full time in a very successful career and though husband was the same. He has worked from home for years and has properties that are rented out. About 5yrs ago he borrowed money from my dad and couldn’t pay it all back so I covered the debt to save face (15k), it was described as a cash flow issue and it was never mentioned again, with no offer of having the money returned.
6 months ago I realised something was wrong, asked hubby but he denied everything. Finally blew up at him and he told me the job had finished a while ( no details) ago and he didn’t want to tell me cause my dad dies (sept 16) and I was under pressure at work.
Turns out he was spending more than he was earning.
He pays mortgage & utilities, I pay the rest inc all children costs and have always had totally separate money. Discovered I pay 3 times what he does and he moved our mortgage to interest only.
I had to drag this information out of him and I feel totally betrayed. I pay £1200 a month for nursery, pay a cleaner and do all the shopping and cooking but it turns out he has been at home doing nothing.
For the last 6yrs I have bought my own bday and Xmas presents and given them to him to wrap and return to me, again to save face.
I feel hurt, betrayed, like I can never trust him, I’m not in love with him, I resent him and I’m annoyed.
I think I want to split up, Thoughts?