Help me to get a grip please

[whydoeshehavetobeaheartbreaker]

I have namechanged as this could be outing. I met a guy through old in December. Well we didn't actually meet in person until January but chatted loads & seemed to have lots in common. In February he had a major health scare, hospitalised etc. I stuck with it as I really liked him & although it's been difficult because of his health we were getting on great & making plans for weekends away etc. Then suddenly out of the blue he went cold on me & then dumped me by text message this week. I am absolutely devastated. Help me get some perspective please

Health scare =chance to have others on the go imo...

He was keeping you close and seeing others.

Move on, hurts like fuck I know but you'll be stronger in the long wrong

God men are sooooo predictable

no, the health scare was genuine, he nearly died, I visited him in hospital

His name isn't Paul, is it? Sounds like someone I know - a real drama llama who used a "major health scare" to muck someone around in a very similar way

No his name isn't Paul

Did he say why?

no he didnt. I feel stupid & worthless

I think my feelings when dating's gone wrong like this after not very long are that, at first sight you thought there was real potential, but then if after effectively a few weeks, they show an unkind / thoughtless / cold side, then they're not quite who you thought they were. Which is fine. You were just getting to know him. I think sometimes we start to make plans & project to the future and the sadness we feel is more that those plans won't materialise; a sadness for what we thought might have happened rather than sadness at losing a relative stranger. That said, maybe his illness shook him up?

Thank you @noimaginationxyzz that's it exactly, he's not quite who I thought he was & that makes me sad & also makes me question my judgement

Don't question your judgement. You were just figuring each other out. You can know friends for years & they can still surprise you. If you take February out while he was so ill, it's basically 12 weeks. That said, if I'd been so ill, I don't know where a new partner would figure for me. Maybe it's just the wrong time for him, other bigger stuff to think about.

I think it’s a timing issue OP

nearly 2 weeks on & I still feel heartbroken over this. I know that sounds a bit dramatic given the length of time I've known him but after a good few years on my own & many old disasters he was the 1st person I've met who I could see myself being with long term. I may be naive but I think it is a timing issue as opposed to him seeing someone else or anything I've done wrong. Just feel really sad about the whole thing

OP, you’re not missing him - you’re missing the man you thought he was.
The reality is this chap is a user who dumps women after leading them on.
When you get over the hurt feelings, you will be thankful that you found out what he’s really like before you wasted any more time and emotional commitment on him.
Put it down to experience. You dodged a bullet. Onwards and upwards! Better luck next time.

Well timing can sort itself out. Give it time, enjoy your own life. You never know. But also wanted to say when you feel v.sad about short relationships, I sometimes think we're sad for what we thought was coming, a grief over lost potential or things we thought we might have, not so much a grief for 'him', because you don't really know him yet. But that future hope is still there, it's just not quite as close as you thought it was