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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

If you don't drink as much as your partner... just one of my issues

8 replies

Petals23 · 26/04/2019 19:23

Hi. Just returned from a four night break with my partner. He would drink 4 or 5 pints a night while away. I get fed up with this as although I like a drink or two maximum, I'm equally happy to do without. I suggested cinema last night for a change as we went to pub pervious 3 nights but he declined, so pub it was again.

Also, we're together nearly 3 years, don't live together, we never have deep conversations about our future. I find him a bit emotionally detached. I came back from our trip thinking although we hang out, have nice times together, this will probably be the way we continue. He's in his 50s, me early 40s.

I'd be grateful for people's opinions.

OP posts:

bigchris · 26/04/2019 19:29

On holiday I think that's fine , what's he like drinking wise when not on holiday?

category12 · 26/04/2019 19:55

His idea of fun is pubs every night. Yours isn't.
His idea of fun trumps yours, apparently. Is that all the time?
You don't feel he's emotionally there for you. That's unlikely to improve at this stage.

It doesn't sound like overall it's working for you. Maybe it's time to call it quits?

Downthecanal · 26/04/2019 19:56

Sounds like your his drinking buddy.

Lineofdutysex · 26/04/2019 19:57

Sounds like you are not that compatible

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 26/04/2019 20:00

Sounds like drinking is his main hobby. If you want more from a holiday you're going to have to find someone else to go with. Sorry.

I used to be like him. It's a boring existence.

MerryDeath · 26/04/2019 20:05

this would turn me off in a big way and i think habits like this are ingrained and reeeeally hard to break. if i had my time
again/more experience this would be incompatibility on a deal breaking level.. would have saved me a lot of stress to take his advice a few years ago

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/04/2019 20:13

The drinking is one thing. That won't change if he's that old.

The only doing what he wants? Bollocks to that.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 26/04/2019 20:17

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?.

What are you getting out of this relationship now Petals, what is in this still for you after 3 years?. Why are you and he together at all given that you do not feel (rightly) that he is there for you emotionally?. It also sounds like his primary relationship is with drink, its certainly not with you.

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