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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please?

1 reply

FTM05 · 26/04/2019 17:22

Im 21w pregnant, my partner works away in the weeks and we only have two days together, I had made plans this weekend for us to go out for a date and he ended up needing more money and it put me over my budget for the week meaning we couldn't do what we wanted, which is fine because it's his money... but now he's argued, complained and made me feel worthless all day! I am so fed up of being the one who has to deal with EVERYTHING!

I'm the one who makes plans, I'm the one who pays the bills, I'm the one who cleans and cooks.. I have to deal with everything, last week when he was away I bought lots of essentials for the baby, I really enjoyed... but since he's been home all i've done is cry... he doesnt listen to me... I just tried explaining to him how I feel, and he's stormed upstairs and told me I ruin everything... he wants to drink every weekend which is fine, but tonight I asked him if we could have a chinese, munch and films and just spend time together and that's not good enough for him.

I feel so put on, I feel like everything is left to me... I have to deal with all our bills, buying for the baby, running the house, putting up with his tiredness and moodswings and other personal things in his life... we are supposed to be a team, but I honestly feel so alone when he's here.. I feel more support, love and care when he's in work and that makes me feel awful, how can I become this fun, outgoing person he needs? I dont want to be going to pubs or out on the weekend when everyone will be drinking! why would I want to be in that situation??

Please can someone give me some advice?!

OP posts:
feen · 26/04/2019 17:47

I'm sorry to hear that and although I don't want be negative ,the longer this goes on, the more it will become normal in your relationship . You are doing what quite a lot of women do and carrying pretty much all of the responsibility of running house and family leaving your partner free to do what he wants and it sounds as though when he is challenged he becomes petty and difficult like a child. He obviously believes all he has to do is earn the money and his responsibilities stop there.
I'm afraid you have to set some boundaries or your life will be miserable. If he is horrible you every time you try to do that, then you may have to think about whether this is what you really want and make sure he takes you seriously rather than just presuming you'll put up with how things are.

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