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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

In love with someone else

2 replies

Tigertree · 26/04/2019 10:24

I got PG with someone ive known for 5 years now. We get along just fine but the spark wasnt there sometimes and we’d be on and off. In between then i met someone and we clicked but we were long distance, about 3 states away from each other. I got pregnant with the one ive known for 5 years and i had to cut off the ex. We recently found connection again and the feelings have definitely returned but tonight he told me hes going on a first date. I definitely felt hurt so i decided to block him everywhere because i cant be living in some sort of fantasy like that. Especially when the ex has told me he misses me, tells me how we’ll make it out of this situation. I KNOW my focus shouldnt be on how crazy in love i still am with him which is why i decided to cut off ties but how does one get over it? It hurts bad and i have suffered through depression almost my whole life which is why i need ways to get over this. Baby daddy is super supportive and is going to be there the whole way, hes not a bad guy at all, in fact, hes the complete opposite. I just need tips/advice. Dont tell me to grow up, i know & im trying to do it. Im doing my best but i cant help but feel like such a disappointment and failure. I feel guilty and im trying to better myself for my child.

OP posts:
HoldMyGirl · 26/04/2019 10:40

What does he mean by 'make it out of this situation'?

Does he want to be in a relationship with you?

UbbesPonytail · 26/04/2019 11:00

Reframe it to yourself, eg you’re not in love with him, you’re in love with the idea of him. So, what is it he represents and how can you bring that into your own life? Etc - and then stop allowing him headspace and focus on one moment at a time in your real life.

I’m not clear if you’re in a relationship with your child’s father or not. If you are, I think you need to decide if you want to be or if you’d rather build a successful co-parenting relationship together.

You did the right thing blocking the other ex. He’s dating, he’s not yours even if you felt like he was.

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