Am I jinxed?

[yodoladyoo]

Are there any decent blokes out there?
I really don't have much luck!

First husband was abusive & violent
Now I'm with someone who plays mind games.

Is it me? Could it be that cos my dad was a complete ass hole I will always end up with one!!!

Hi op . I think you need to search within yourself to find out what attracts you to these kind of men and to do that , you need to set yourself free and be single for a while , without any distractions from men , easier said than done I know

Thing is I chose my second husband cos he seemed like the total opposite of my first.
He has a good job, money, kind, spoilt me, etc etc but then he started doing little things like, making himself a drink, not offering me one even tho I'd made dinner, like, not speaking to me, going quiet sulky when I do something he doesn't like, causing an atmosphere in the house, I feel like I'm treading on egg shells but can't really pin point why! He doesn't shout at me, it's weird ... I actually feel like I'm going mad!!

well he's controlling, that's a subtle form of abuse.

You see OP, you shuld have been cautious when he strated 'spoiling' you because that's a classic way to reel someone in and then get them under under control. They know it's hard for you to leave because they were oh so great to you and it must be your fault if they sulk etc!

There really are some decent men out there but, a lot of the available ones are single for a reason.

Your current bf is a hesdfuck. Bin him off.

So now you can see that he's not really any better, what are you going to do?

You're in control of your own life. It's up to you to remove yourself from these people.

You aren't jinxed but you probably need to have some counselling to deal with issues connected with your dad and choice of partners.

I'm not saying you are a victim but it is said that some people do have that victim mentality and attract others to them who will treat them badly in various ways.

Example
I have a lovely friend who was systematically sexually abused by her father and one of her brothers from a very young age. She ran away from home and came to the UK. She met a man with whom she had a child but their relationship didn't work out. She was then raped by an acquaintance. She lived by herself for some years and had some dates with nice men. She finally felt she found 'the one' a professional man she felt she connected with.They married and over the years she has discovered he has been with prostitutes, had a DC with another woman who he married in a foreign country (so doesn't know if her marriage is bigamous), he is mentally and emotionally abusive to her. He is a compulsive liar, has had many affairs and gaslights her. She wants to leave him but won't for both financial and culteral reasons (her mother has threatened to disown her if she leaves him). She recently found out her DC was systematically sexually abused by DC's father from the same age that she was abused by her own father.
She did/does want to leave him and enlisted the help and advice of a group of us friends but is just too fearful of losing the relationship with her mother and her cushy financial life. I now have to switch off from the situation as you can lead a horse to water........

Do you see what I mean? I know it isn't always the case, and obviously it is not your fault, but maybe there is something about you that does attract abusive men/people. Perhaps you are very submissive because of the situation with your father and manipulative people are drawn to you as an easier target than others?

Counselling could help you work out why you attract abusive partners so that you can see what it is that you need to change.

Please accept my apologies if I have badly worded this and believe me when I say it does come from a good heart. I hope you do find someone decent and loving and deserving of you in the future.

Iwishiwasaspaceman!! Your poor friend! How awful for her!

I get it n it's all in my control. Completely.
I read a bit about gaslighting - I think he does this to me.

I try not to over think things, so I'm guilty of just plodding on through my life steadily without any kind of real thought. I just chose the easy at the time option... I am becoming unhappy though so things are getting to me. He gives me the silent treatment, and sighs, slams around, doesn't actually say if I've upset him - I just feel awkward.
After a few days of this I blow up and then he says I'm on my period!!!
Just wrecks my head.
Dunno what to do about it, need to actually think things through and face facts don't I!

Iv been in this situation myself, I found being single and doing things that made me happy ,The key is not to focus on being in a relationship Let it happen naturally and not rush in to it if u find someone take your time go on dates and if he’s the 1 he will wait