12 year relationship ended 😭

[TLJ08]

Hi I just need some advice really. My partner of 12years moved out in January as he felt my depression had pushed us. We thought giving us some space would be good for us to work on things. My partner had started a new job in October where he made friends with a girl there. Which is when everything started to go wrong. He told me nothing was happening and she's just a freind. Anyway end of march he no longer sees a future. Ends it with me. Sells are house (sstc) rents a place with his sister. Starts seeing this girl from work. Apparently there in love after 5 weeks and it's serious??? He's sworn on are sons life that nothing happened when we were working on things. I'm incredibly hurt by all this. I'm heartbroken. I'm left picking up the peices. I've lost my partner, my home and the future we had planned. Mean while he's playing happy families with new girlfriend. Luckily are son is doing well but so much has happened in the last 5 weeks. I don't know what to do and I feel so sick. My stomach rolls constantly. I feel abandoned and worthless. He said he doesn't care for me at all when 2 weeks ago he still loved me. I don't understand 😭😭😭 sorry for the rant. Not sure it makes sense I'm sad.

I’m sorry you are in this situation, but glad you are no longer being messed around by him. Get angry and get practical. Are you ok paying the rent, how will he share costs with you for your son, how will contact work.

I'm so sorry you're going through this sadly it's quite possible he started seeing this girl earlier than he says, but unfortunately there's not really any way of knowing. 'In love' after 5 weeks does seem pretty suspect though. Thing is though, if he did start seeing her sneakily then he's hardly a catch is he?

It's fucking horrible isn't it, but the hurt will fade. I know it sounds like a right old cliche but it's true, give it time and you'll start feeling happier again. Have you got friends/family to support you?

I am so sorry that you are feeling so sad but please recognise that these are perfectly normal feelings for the situation you are in. Don't try to think that you should be "over it" already...you're grieving and that takes time.

You will no doubt receive lots of advice that incites vengeance and hatred of your ex and it may be that he deserves all the hatred you could throw at him (and more besides!) however you need to concentrate on two people-you and your child...that's all.

If his stance is that he is with this new person from work then leave it be-any temper/pleading/jealousy/despair will be wasted if he's moved on, and to be honest it sounds as if he has; whether this has already happened when you were together is immaterial and will just drive you bonkers if you keep going over it. He's either gone behind your back while you were together or moved on quickly once he's gone-neither are nice scenarios to get your head round.

Mulling over the detail will achieve nothing-after all, what could he possibly say that would make the situation any easier for you.

Give it time, keep to reasonable access for your child's sake and hold your head high.

Life will get better, you will feel happier but it will take time so give yourself the time you need to heal and don't worry about feeling sad but don't let this situation make you bitter...your child deserves a happy mum and you deserve to be happy too x