Finances

[lovemylkids43]

Myself and my partner both work full time ... he earns comes out with around 2200 pm that's basic rate without overtime ... I earn less than him and in terms of the household it was my rented house before he moved in about 4 and half years ago .. I have two children living at home one who isn't his and a two year old we have together ... we pay full rent council tax etc .. the question is my partner gives me £150 per week that includes everything , takeaways shopping bills etc and his weekly disposable income is far more than mine .. it makes it feel so separated and not joint

I earn around 22000 per year

How do others work out Finances

I don't expect him to support my other son either

Oh god not another one
What is it with MN this week with women moving boyfriends in without sorting out fair financial arrangements?

It can be tricky when you both bring previous lives and commitments into a new cohabitation.

But you have a child with him.

Why did you decide to have a child with a man who you haven’t even sorted out finances with?

You ought to be a family now.

Who is paying for childcare whilst you work? Please save my blood pressure and tell me that you have family doing it for free.

I would work out what the bills, rest, food etc cost and he pays half.

DP and I bought a house together and his DC stay with us 3 nights a week. We split all bills 50/50, even the DC clothes, presents etc.We are a family, I'm currently expecting so its all family money.

How much is your rent? ....£600 for EVERYTHING? He must be rolling in it. Even if you decided he wasn't to contribute at all towards his step child he should be paying way more. He has actively chosen not to point this out to you because it must have occurred to him you're being short changed!! Lucky guy

So basically met him nearly 5 years ago he moved in 4 years ago ... I already had an established household and looked after myself and other kids ... then got caught pregnant on the pill and the rest is history

Two kids at home , youngest is his
Rent is £420
Council tax 100
Bills around 250
Internet 22
Water 64
Tv license 14
Shopping around 500 per month

The. I have the car as ya mine so tax insurance fuel and other daily bits and bobs as well as school meals and bus fare for my other son .. his dad gives me 25 per week

I'm happy paying half but as he earns more than me he has more to spend on himself yet my small disposable income is rather on kids or others

Just wanted advice on finances and how couples should be if one is earning more than the other

My DH earns £6500 a year more than me, he pays £850pm and I pay £550pm that covers mortgage and bills, food shopping we take turns paying for - not sure how that happened but we've been doing that for years! We each have a car and we pay for our own insurance, tax, petrol etc.

I would be asking him to contribute a bit more

On avarage month (for now) I think that our net income is about the same (1500ish each), he may have 100-200 more if he has a good bonus. It's little above the national avarage but we live in capital (obviously not in UK).

Mortgage (and therefore the property) is on my name so he gives me 1/3 of that as "rent". I pay my loan and life insurance alone and it's pretty high because of my medical condition. TV, Internet, heat, electricity and other household expenses are around 200. Food and other bits are 350-400 a month but he sometimes eats lunch as a takeaway and it's his separate expense. Other named expenses are 50/50.

Cars (each have ole own but he mostly uses his company car and petrol for free), car insurances, petrol, phones bills etc are personal expenses. I save for the home (moved in less than a year ago to an empty property and some big bits are still missing) so my spare money goes there and I'll try to save some as well. He likes to buy (expensive) tools.

We don't have a joint property or any kids. If we did then it would be 50/50 or if one of us would earn more, it would be % of our income I think. If we'd rent it would be 50/50. Same with children, because he would be equally responsible for them. Full time childcare (from age 1,5 if you get a place but it's more like from age 2) is about 100 a month per child, including food and you can stay home for the first 1,5 years while the government pays you the same as your salary was before you gave birth. So it's little different in here but we'd still have to figure it out together as parents.

Although I'd like him to save more, he is very generous with his money. If I have ran out before the payday, he would give me cash. My car broke down few days ago and he bought the parts and repaired it because I'm skint this month. I will repay the parts from next salary but if I'd have no money to give back even on my payday, he wouldn't ask. He has given me money when I was about to leave to a posh restaurant to my friend's birthday party (everybody pays their own bill) and ate before leaving because I didn't have any spare money for an expensive bill. And money for taxy as well because I was ill shortly before and the weather was freezing! So yeah, he has more spare cash because mine goes to expensive home items and when it's done I'd like to pay my mortgage back in bigger chunks but it's entirely my choice. Then again if we would seperate I'd have my own home and he would have some expensive (and by then used) tools

In most equitable relationships, this is worked out by having a joint account from which all bills (including shopping) are paid. Each contributes their ratio of income, so if he earns 20k and you earn 10k, he contributes 66.6% of the total cost of bills, and you contribute 33.3%.

The rest of your income stays in your personal accounts and can be spent on whatever or put into savings.

Fuck me backwards!! What is it with women allowing blokes to take the piss financially.... so he pays £600 per month for everything? Including take aways when can I move in OP

He should be paying you £600 per month PLUS buying all the food and takeaways ffs

So he's paying roughly half of the household costs?

And he'll have about £600 a month more than you (allowing for your maintenance).

So what is it you'd like as your outcome?

My husband earns slightly more than I do at the moment, but it's his as he earns it so I don't lay claim to it. We don't do joint accounts and so on either.

Do you have kids with him, WelcomeToShootingStars? If you do, then surely they have an entitlement to their father's money, even if you feel that you don't.

@lovemylkids43 he is roughly about £100 short each month on household bills from what you’ve listed. He isn’t currently contributing regularly towards his child.

It may be you do the ratio suggestion as another poster made. It’s unfortunate that he earns more than you and it’s up to you both on how to manage that.

Your other child’s dad should also be contributing more towards his upkeep - if you haven’t got a formal arrangement in place through child maintenance you might want to look at that.

I earn roughly 10k more than my DH. We pool everything in together for all bills mortgage childcare etc and then keep 400 each a month for our own spending money. We are a family. He works as hard as I do I'm just paid better as specialised industry so we keep equal for ourselves and rest to joint account.

Just wondering, what does the 250 bills cover? Seems really high just for power/gas?

We do an even sit of 50:50.

Its our home, our bills and so on so we sit evenly.

Before DC DH and I contributed a % based on earnings - so at one point he earned twice as much as me so contributed 2/3 and me 1/3 of our bills/expenses. Once DC can into the equation, we shared whatever disposable income we had after everything was paid 50/50 and have done so ever since. As it happens I now earn more than him so contribute a bigger percentage.

Thanks for all your constructive comments ... I suppose because he moved on with me , he calls it his keep !!! Of £150 but he waste so much money and I know he works hard and it's his money ... but if we done things jointly we could be so much better off .... and could do a lot more and live a lot better .... but I just can't see it changing .... but thanks again folks ;)