Unconditional love for crap partners

[DuesToTheDirt]

Is it just me that doesn't get it?

There are so many of these threads on here.. "He cheats on me, but I still love him, what should I do?..""He calls me a fat cunt, but I can't imagine life without him...""He does nothing in the house or with the kids, and spends all his time gaming, but I love him so much..."

Is it just me that doesn't understand unconditional love for these wastes of space?

It isn't love but nor is it always something like 'co-dependecy' (to me that word is often very victim-blamey). The fact is that nobody chooses to be in a shit or abusive relationship, these things creep up on you slowly or hit you in such a way that they make your emotional state dependent on the abuser and thus it becomes an addiction. And you don't have to have had a codependent personality or bad childhood to find yourself in these sort of relationshps (or even friendships or other things).

The sad thing is, we aren't teaching our children in schools about abusive relationships or focusing on teaching about npd/aspd ect… and many adults grow up completely unaware of how many people there are out there walking about without a shred of empathy or compassion. And so we are easily hoodwinked. Education about these nasty sorts is the only thing that will protect people. That's why it's so good that many people come on here in these sorts of relationships, because then those of us who know whats what can help educate them and hopefully, things will click for them at last and they can get away from these nasty partners ect...

The sad thing is, we aren't teaching our children in schools about abusive relationships

I agree that this would help to an extent, but I still think some ppl would remain in abusive controlling relationships.

Anything that can help even a little bit is a positive step though.

I think having strong female role models to look up to is brilliant, but something Michelle Obama said (I had the privilege of seeing her recently in London) was having a decent male role model in her father, who empowered and treated her equally to her DB set a high standard in the men she chose.

When you see your mother treated with respect, you're less likely to regress, because you've seen what a loving respectful relationship looks like.