Advice?

[MummyBear99]

Hi, I really need some advice. I’m a stay at home mum of 3 ( 2 girls and my eldest son from a previous relationship) and have recently started up my own mobile catering business. Cash is non existent at the moment so I’m looking for some work which I can do along side. I got offered an interview with a great company that would gain me valuable experience in the area that my business is in. this would be evenings and weekends which is ok because my husband will be able to look after the children but he said he wasn’t willing to “deal with my son” (he’s got ASD as well as being a normal 13yr old teenage boy with an attitude sometimes) I feel like I’m unable to move forward with my business and earn money because my husband doesn’t want to look after my son, and now I don’t know if I can stay with a man that would say something like this about my son. Am I over reacting?

I dont think you are over reacting at all.

Does your DS exhibit challenging behaviour as part of his ASD?

Does your OH not have a good relationship with your DS?

Does he mean he can’t be arsed to deal with him or that he isn’t capable or the right person because of his needs or their relationship. Does your son see his father during any of this time? Possibly my first thought for care at the weekends rather than his stepfather.

@sandyY2K his behaviour is generally pretty good, it can be a bit of a battle to get him to do homework which I think is what my husband is referring to and also if there’s been a problem that day at school he wouldn’t confide in my husband

LemonTT I think a bit of both. My son sees his dad most weekends but it’s during the week my husband whorls maybe have to get him to do any homework that’s needed to be done which can be a bit of a struggle

, it can be a bit of a battle to get him to do homework

^^^ which can be fairly normal for some chikdren, whether or not they have a SN

OP, is your DP a biological parent in his own right, or is he clueless about parenting in general?

IMO he should he supporting you OP, not putting blocks in your path. Sadly, I have a DH like this - the biological father to our son but reluctant at every corner to put in any parenting effort. I'm currently reassessing my marriage it doesnt look favourable for him at the moment

Assuming he is a decent partner, and that evenings/weekends are currently a partnership in terms of childcare then tbh I can see why he wouldn't want to work full time hours and then spend evenings/weekends looking after challenging dss by himself. I don't think I would want to do that either.

Is it just homework that causes battles? In which case you could remind your son to do his homework in the morning or he will face sanctions at school and you won't intervene if he gets detention etc. Tell your partner not to get involved with homework at all. As long as he makes sure your son is fed and goes to bed at a suitable time. Your son will probably miss you though.