Why does he never listen?!?!?!

[NewHouseFreshStart10]

Anything I ask him to do, anything at all he just doesn't listen, then does it wrong, then throws a tantrum when I shout at him for doing it wrong!

I know full well I will sound like I'm moaning and being OTT but it's all the time..

I always cook, every night, but today I asked him to start tea before I got back from work, told him exactly what needed cooking, how long for etc... I've got back, he's put in the wrong meat with the oven at 250 and it's burnt already.

I asked him to do me a favour and iron a couple of my tops while he was doing his work shirts, he responded and said yes, an hour later he put the iron away and my tops were still on the bed unironed, when I asked him he said I hadn't asked him to iron them?

I could list a million more things but he just doesn't listen to anything, and when I get annoyed about it get told I'm overreacting and being dramatic, I wouldn't have an issue if it wasn't every little thing, it's like it's in one ear out the other.

I don't really know the point of this post I'm just venting because now I have to start tea all over again after a long day at work while he's had the past 3 days off

Who are you talking about?

I'm guessing you're referring to DP - if you treat someone like a child then expect them to act like one!

Sorry, yes DP.

I hardly treat him like a child, he does plenty in the house (cleaning, decorating etc).

Like the cooking, he's a terrible cook, and i love it, but after a long day at work I just couldn't face it tonight, but now it's just made more work for me! He got a text explaining what to do, skimmed over it and just chucked whatever he could find in the oven, that's what annoys me! Just doesn't read/listen!

If he doesn't listen or follow instructions then i'd be inclined to leave the cleaning and decorating to him and do the cooking myself.

Everyone irons their own clothes.

He is listening he doesn’t care.

I actually think that's even worse if it was a text he didn't bother to read, it's not even as though he can say he forgot what you'd said, it was there in black and white! What would he say if you told him it feels like he's disrespecting and disregarding you every time he does this and that it will gradually chip away at your feelings for him if he carries on? Because it will, it's a really basic thing to be listened to by your partner.

I hope to god you don't/won't have children with him.

He’s not listening as he doesn’t care

He doesn’t care

He’s punishing you for even asking by being “man incompetent” so you never ask again

You have some choices which involve being similarly incompetent in domestic tasks or deciding whether this arrangement is worth it

My dh is the same. One e.g where I really lost my top was when I asked him to order some tickets for the cinema online. He's always on the pc. They either text or email the code. I said please don't use gmail tho as I never use that address I have hotmail on my phone.. So he goes and sends it to g.mail. I really lost my temper because I was just so fed up of not being listened to.

He can eat what he’s cooked. You can order a takeaway for yourself.

I don't understand why you're now sorting dinner. If he screwed it up he can sort the situation out. Learned helplessness completely.

He’s pulling the age old “Do things wrong so she never asks me again”.

He’s a lazy man child.

It's deliberate and it's because he thinks you're unreasonable to even ask him.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Strategic%20Incompetence&amp=true

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/mustbethistalltoride.com/2016/01/14/she-divorced-me-because-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink/amp/?client=safari

There was a post on here once apparently where the poster every single time her partner/spouse did this sort of thing pointed out he was effectively saying "fuck you! You don't matter"

It's completely unacceptable behaviour

There is a part of me that thinks he is being incompetent so I don't ask him again, but we very much share duties in the house, I don't do everything, far from it! He cleans, washes clothes, he really does a lot in the house, I'm not trying to make excuses for him I just think he is crap at what I'm good at and crap as listening.

@Hidingtonothing I will speak to him about it, he apologised for messing up the food but does think I overreact to things, I'm going to speak to him and tell him that he needs to listen and respect my feelings when I get annoyed about this, he is generally very attentive just has cloth ears! Thank you for your reply

@Aquamarine1029 no worries on that front, I found out not long ago I can't have children, it doesn't bother me but maybe be a tad more sensitive in future when you say things like that