Hi there,
I'm new on here and could do with some outside advice.
I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years and we've been living together in our own property for about 9 years.
I had many issues about trust in the beginning of our relationship as his wife had left him and they have 3 children together. He would blatantly lie to me about seeing her (even swearing on his children's lives that he hadn't been in contact with his ex when he was lying as they'd been out to dinner!!) and eventually I would find out and this caused massive rows between us even though if he'd told me the truth in the first place then it wouldn't have been so bad. We don't have kids together.
Anyway to cut a long story short, I've just found that he's been looking at porn on his i-pad, which I knew about and although I don't like it, it's easier to let him carry on rather than confront him about it. BUT I've also found he's looked on a website for people in relationships who want to have discreet no strings affairs. I've left the name of this site in his 'history' together with the names of the other porn sites so that when he looks at his i-pad he'll know that I've seen them as I've deleted all his other history and just left these ones. However, I don't know what to do. I've joined the dating site but I can't locate a picture or a profile of him. What do i do - just leave it as I do have a comfortable life and need him to keep living with me to pay half the mortgage or do I confront him (with no proof of him actually meeting any of these women) and risk losing everything that I am content with. To be honest, I'm not sure if it bothers me as I seem to have built up a strong resistance to his lies in the past so I'm not really surprised at what I've found. Or am I being stupid and I should ask him about it. By the way, he lets me use his i-pad so I wasn't snooping, he'd just forgotten to delete these links.
Any thoughts or views from you would be most welcome.
Many thanks for your time and I look forward to some advice!!