How long should you wait before getting intimate?

[Pickleandparty]

Okay, so I have a genuine question which seems to vary by everyone I ask but on a timescale when is the best time to get intimate with someone? When you first start dating, Do you wait weeks or months? Or count on dates?

I've had quite a lot of sexual partners. Some of them were one night stands, some happened with friends, some with people I'd known for a while, some I waited. It completely depends on the person. I've been called easy by someone I slept with quite quickly but I just laughed and told him that he had sex with me just as quickly as I had sex with him so if I was easy, well, pot meet kettle.
With DH we waited for four dates, so four weeks after meeting. We text or spoke everyday, dates once a week. It felt right. And now we're married with a little one.

In the 2019, I fail to understand the attitude that still prevails of sex being something a woman gives to a man. Good sex is shared sex!

There is no benefit in waiting for x number of dates. Sex on the first date can be special. Likewise, there should be no pressure on anyone who chooses not to have sex.

I think there’s no rule, just whenever you feel like it.

I do it when the timing is right tbh..

Its up to the pair of you!
The only real risk is if you are on say a 1st or 2nd date, they have decided there will be no further dates and you suggest sex. Chances are they will say yes and then wave you a cheery goodbye the following morning, blocking you as they leave!!

There’s no answer that will suit everyone, it’s a case of what works for the individuals involved.

Personally I’ll do anything bar sex on a first meet if I fancy them, but I won’t then have sex with them unless a longterm relationship develops.

Luckily I'm not fertile any more so the whole business of pregnancy has disappeared as a concern.

Casual sex certainly does have consequences - I've found that most if what I believed about my body and my sexuality was not true.

If I was on the pill and dating I'd potentially happily bang them within a few dates - cause if they are only after one thing then most of them are happy to hold out for it. I'd rather just treat it as a bit of fun if I fancy them and if we continue to see each-other good, if not, at least no feelings were involved.

Just came off the pill though. So won't be dating or banging again for the forseable future. Woe is me haha. Auch well, wasn't getting any anyway haha.

DH and I went on a date. He stayed the night and never went home again! He was living with his parents at the time.
22 years later we're still together.

I love these messages. It just goes to show if you have a spark with someone you automatically speed the relationship up. I like some have had a man shouldn't judge a woman in that way as if he really felt for you it wouldn't matter when you would have sex

ASAP!

Once out of my teens and gained a bit of confidence will always sleep with someone quickly if I can. This is not the same thing as sleeping with lots of people though. Have never felt judged by anyone I’ve slept with for this (clue is not to sleep with obvious wankers and am a pretty good judge of character). Don’t think having sex quickly has any impact on how the relationship does or does not progress.

Whenever YOU want.

I was in love with my DH after 5mins. But emotionally wasn’t ready to sleep with him for at least a few weeks. It all felt too much for me, the intensity, so I held back as I was overwhelmed. If I’d felt ready I would have slept with him after 5 mins.

Any man who judges a girl for sleeping with him too soon is a massive red flag.

To echo pp, when you're ready.

For me it was 1 month for my now-fiance. We talked about it (ok, danced around the topic) after a week, and I said that since we are responsible adults, we both need to get tested and show proof. He completely agreed and made an appt. the following day.

Appointments and results took about 2 weeks, so we waited a couple of days for when we were on a weekend trip (where we spent the majority of the weekend in bed!) :)