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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband has moved in ow

7 replies

Soconfused19 · 23/04/2019 21:40

Hi,
I posted a few weeks ago about my husbands affair and I'm back again.
Last week our son (12) found out in a horrible way that my ex had moved the ow into his house. He has never even sat them Down to tell them why our marriage was over or that he was in a relationship with her. We just find out ourselves.
Anyway I confronted him and he moved her in 3 weeks after we separated. I found out about his affair and kicked him out, he begged for a week to come back but I wouldn't believe his lies and he's still lying.
He barely sees the kids only when he feels like it and when he does he's always late. He's now saying whenever the kids want to see him he'll ask ow to leave and if they want to sleepover she'll have to go home for the night.. They have told him they will never go in there and he doesn't seem to care. Says he misses them so much but yet he's acting like that.
We has such a brilliant relationship and family life together that it's still all a shock and how could he move her in so fast I'll never understand. He's turned into the biggest prick I have ever met. Taking her away for our anniversary night. Why the hell would he even do that, and told me he's deleting all my messages and our pictures. I have now blocked his number, I can't be dealing with that shit. He's doing the exact same things with her as he did with me, It's like he's living the same life just a different person. It seems to me everything is moving way to fast. He's 40 soon, she's 25 and a graduate. We were together 19yrs and lived a very happy life, done so much together. He says he wasn't unhappy. Our kids are 12 and 17 so we had so much freedom and so many plans for the future and this year alone
I hope he lives to regret it and she dumps his ass and he'll live a horrible lonely life..

OP posts:
ChocAuVin · 23/04/2019 21:42

I’m so sorry you’re in such pain Flowers

SandyY2K · 23/04/2019 21:45

I'm sorry for you and your children. What a silly man....and that's putting it mildly.

Do his family know about the affair?

So many have been where you are. Surviving infidelity is a great support website as well.

Www.survivinginfidelity.com

Soconfused19 · 23/04/2019 22:10

@sandyY2K yes his family know and want nothing more to do with him mainly because of the way he's treating me and the kids. How can someone move from quite a happy life straight into another one it doesn't make sense

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 23/04/2019 22:36

At least his family aren't enabling him.

It doesn't seem like he wanted to leave you and was just enjoying the affair. Getting his ego stroked with a 25 year old.

After his begging didn't work, he decided he might as well be with her. ...it's more by default.

The both of them are stupid.

NameChangeNugget · 23/04/2019 22:46

He’s just using her for sex and as a distraction from the real issue.

He’s being so inconsiderate towards his children

Middersweekly · 24/04/2019 08:37

He is a fool @OP and like everyone else has said, he’s enjoying getting his ego stroked by a 25 yr old. Imagine his horror when she leaves him for someone her own age. If by some miracle he manages to hang onto her, she’ll likely want children! That will be his comfortable life gone for a good duration and he’ll be knocking on quite a by then!
Focus on yourself and your children. Rise from the ashes when you’re feeling stronger. Flowers

prawnsword · 24/04/2019 08:45

I suspect his plan of just telling the OW to leave her home at a moments notice while he enjoys flexible visitation with his kids won’t sit well for long. He sounds very selfish to just assume that you can move your GF in then ask her to leave every so often 😂

Especially on a weekend, can you imagine on a Saturday night being told to stay out until Sunday ?

If I were you would be happily encouraging the kids to stay over as much as they wish. At 12 & 17 they may just decide to go hang at dad’s whenever they like, giving you time to relax & unwind, get some peace & you time.

With his attitude I predict this will blow up in his face eventually.

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