Hi all.
I'm a bit worried about my daughter. She is a very sensitive soul. She is 20, and about to finish 3rd year at Uni. She will graduate next summer as a primary school teacher, and she has to tell the Uni soon what area she'd like to be placed in a school.
Her Dad and I are divorced (multiple cheating on his part). I am married now to someone else (for 11 years), who she gets on great with.
Her Dad is living in the marital home (I left), and this is where she has lived, since she was 3 years old. It is a beautiful house, which I could never have afforded alone, which is why ExH bought me out on our divorce.
Me and DH live in a different town, 30 mins away from her Dad.
Her Dad has decided that he is going to sell the family home, and move to another town, an hour away from her home town, and 1.5 hours from where I live. This is because his girlfriend lives there. This means that my DD will now have no base in the town that she grew up in, and where most of her friends are.
She is so upset. She was going to list her home town as where she wanted to be placed, as it's where her friends are, it's where her boyfriend is, and it's where she is familiar with. She would have listed my town as a 2nd choice.
Her dad is suggesting that she just moves to where he is moving to, but she knows nobody there.
On top of this, the plan is to sell her dads house first, then he will move in with his girlfriend whilst they sell her house, then they will jointly buy a bigger home. His GF house is tiny, so the plan is to charity shop the entire contents of her dad's home, including DD's stuff, as there won't be space to store it at GF house. Whilst most of you (and me) would gawp at that, her dad earns in excess of £150k and this makes this affordable : just buy new stuff.
She feels entirely cast adrift, and I totally see why.
On top of this, her boyfriends step mum (who has raised him for years), has disappeared a few days ago, along with his younger siblings, and she has blocked everyone, including my DD. Simply left a note, cleared out the house when her DH was at work. No-one knows where she is. It is another unsettling event.
I have told her that she can pack the contents of her stuff that's at her dad's and bring it here (and she will). I have also told her, that if she gets a placement in my town, that her and her boyfriend can live here, and I will convert one of the bedrooms into a sitting room for them, so that they have space of their own. But in reality I know it's not their preferred location.
Another thought,was to help them financially to rent a place together in their home town. I could manage this.
What else can I say or do, to make her feel grounded??