How to move on

[mc15]

I've been separated from my partner for 3 months now. We were together a long time however he has already been able to move on and be happy. Which I'm glad of as all I want is for him to be happy. However I'm stuck, stuck in what seems like a deep hole which I dug myself, no way of getting out, and at the light at the top is him standing there.... I'm drifting.... anyway I need some sort of advice as to how to move, forget, and be happy x would be appreciated

You need to stop all contact (if you have any ) with your ex and block him on everything as seeing him / speaking with him will slow down how quickly you mentally mend.

Start up a new hobby , maybe the gym? If you don’t already go .
Book a holiday so you have something to look forward to , revamp your hairstyle / wardrobe. Decorate, I loved changing my bedroom and buying new bed linen. Find a Netflix /amazon series you can get into , preferably not romantic ones (crime drama and stand up comedy shows worked for me) . Focus on you and take each day as it comes bit by bit you will feel better xx

I found anger worked for me.
I started out pleased that he was happy and then, over the months as each new betrayal came to light, I became very cross.
That led to an “ I’m well rid of him” anger which drove me to do the sort of things lefty suggests. about six months later I caught myself being very happy, and realised he’d ceased to matter and the anger had faded.
I hope it gets better soon x

As Lefty1 said - block all contact. I deleted my ex from my contacts, deleted all photos and messages, changed my routine so I wouldn’t see her again. It’s hard to get over a relationship ending when it’s not your choice, but time will help you.

Are you still in touch? I’m guessing so if you know he’s moved on. You need to cut contact. You can tell him first or not. Delete all of his contact details, block on social media, and you’ll soon heal. You can’t heal if you’re still in contact as you keep reopening the wound.

@EmeraldRubyShark Thankyou this helped xx

@Phoenix69 Thankyou, I'm now willing to attempt to cut off x

@Seniorschoolmum Thankyou, this is a different thought which never came to mind and was helpful to hear x

@Lefty1 Thankyou for this x

Stop contact.
Keep yourself busy.
Get on the angry train and ride it into the sunset!

Easier said than done but he's not moping over you, so why should you like over him?

I'm so sorry to hear you're struggling. I'm going through similar, I've lost my fiancé, my best friend and my partner in crime. He cheated on me and left me with nothing.
I think we have to let ourselves grieve. It's ok for you to have your bad days and feel sad, let them happen. But as other people have said just get yourself out as much as possible even if it's just for a walk to the shop.

Just know you're not alone and speaking to people will help you. Friends or family, or on social media. Talking to people definitely has helped me as I get so much support.

Everything just takes time you'll be happy again before you know it! X

I think you need to grieve what you had and what you hoped the future would hold. But you have to put a time limit on it.

At some point we have to start moving towards acceptance that what once was is no more and the future is ours to venture into battle-weary but ready for a new chapter.

After one split I took up swimming, gave up alcohol as it depressed me (am still off it years later) and realized how happy I could be on my own. That was truly liberating. When you know you can be happy on your own you will never settle for a bad relationship. Actually, when I think about it, that split was the making of me

Look forward. You were happy before you knew this now ex, and you will be again.

I would doubt he is actually as happy as you think he is.
Plan lots and lots of things, to keep yourself too busy to think about him. Be a social butterfly!
Visit old friends, make sure you have something every weekend to look forward to. Visit new places by yourself if you find yourself with nothing to do at weekends. Join a gym or a mid-week class. Read loads. Listen to audio books as you fall asleep so you're not thinking of him. Re decorate your home if you can. Maybe try a bit of mindfulness / meditation. Get through each day as best you can, each week will pass and before you know it you'll be feeling a bit better. Baby steps

Plan 25 things you want to do or achieve in the next 12 months. X

@RLEOM Thankyou so much x

@lools192 Thankyou so much. I think we both need to just move and enjoy other company in a way that can allow us to forget but allow the memories to thrive

@Whichwayfoward Thankyou so much

@MsLayla he likes to make me believe he doesn't care and shows every way that he is totally over everything that we went through and it kills me so much. But I can't do anything about it

@MyloJesse Thankyou. This sounds like a fab idea x