Separation help please

[lools192]

I'm wondering if any of you can help me.

My fiancé has cheated on me, when I was pregnant and after our baby was born. I'm absolutely heartbroken and I'm trying to deal with the pain aswell as now having to sort out living arrangements.

We own our home and I'm on maternity leave with our 6 month old. I have spoken to the gingerbread charity who made me think me leaving and renting would be best as I would get the majority of my rent covered. But I can't find anywhere in this area who will accept universal credits.

I'm now thinking no, why the hell should me and my baby leave our home. He should leave. Does anyone know how I could stay here and pay the mortgage and make him leave?

I know I could go back to work soon but they say with nursery fees and the small pay I would get for being part time it might not be worth it.

Has anyone got any experience with universal credits and mortgages?

I'm struggling so much! Thank you! X

It's a bit tricky OP...they help with the interest I believe...and it's in the form of a loan. Which could potentially get you in real bother with you having such a small baby and being alone.

Also some lenders are refusing Universal Credit.

I really feel for you...this is a horrible situation. Are you currently living together? Is he paying the mortgage alone?

I assume you're both on the paperwork? Is there any capital? how much is there left to pay?

The problem is that it's both of your house...he unfortunately has as much right to it as you do. And he could refuse to leave.

In your position I would be seeking the advice of a solicitor as soon as possible. You would, if it were sold, have half of the proceeds which could (if there's enough) enable you to get a new place.

You can't really stay there and make him leave....he owns it just as much as you do.x

You will not get help to pay your mortgage but some mortgage lenders take universal tax credits as income so you may be able to afford the mortgage payment anyway. I would suggest booking an independent financial advisor to help you find one.

You are always better if you work, because if you do more than 16 hrs, you will get tax credits, help to pay for the childcare, you will not make yourself unemployable by creating a big gap in your CV, etc.

@HennyPennyHorror yes we're are still living together because he won't leave.

He's violent, not towards me, but he smashes up the house. I've already had the police around who told me they can't remove him from the house because he owns it too.

The interest loan would give me £250 approx towards the mortgage which is £520. Where as if I rented I would get £525 from universal credits. It's just so hard in this area to find somewhere who will accept that. And I don't want to more to a different area as I need my friends and family close right now.

I literally have hit rock bottom and I hate that he has made me feel like this!

It's so sad

it’s a really tricky one.

if you stay and can cover the mortgage some how, years down the line he may want his name of the mortgage/ to sell the house.

I wonder if a non-molestation order could keep the OP's ex out of the house they both own?

@HennyPennyHorror would that have to witness him in the act though? The last time I called the police I hoped they would arrest him but they said they had to witness him being violent and they did absolutely nothing.

OP you know what might help....contacting Women's Aid. They're well versed in violent men and how to get them in their place. Women's Aid is not only for women needing to run away.

The Police can remove him for DA and you can apply to court for an Injunction until you have somewhere to move too.

Document every little threat, as long as you have a paper trail proving Abuse the Courts will act. Continue to ring the Police the minute he starts getting violent, you tell them you have a baby and you are scared. They have a Duty of Care to protect you.

Yes! As Avenger's says...and OP...verbal threats are also considered violence. Then we have the coercive control element....is he controlling at all?

Don’t take one persons/charity’s advice. Get more info. Go see a solicitor for proper advice about staying in the house. When I went through something similar my solicitor told me that on no account was I to leave the house. With kids it gives you rights. You need proper legal advice. The solicitor told me there are things they can do to get them out. They can also advise on the finances. Google “family divorce solicitor” and your area and book free half hour consultation with a few and then pick the best one. They can do occupation orders and all sorts.

Today he is going to view a property and has already called our mortgage lender to ask about having his name taken off the mortgage.

The problem then is I have to remortgage the house on my own and I'm still on maternity and only plan on returning to work 16 hours.

I don't think it's going to be possible. This is just so hard. 😢