Met someone that doesn't just have baggage but a whole wardrobe!

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Changed name for this.

Been a single mum for many years since dd was born couple of relationships but nothing serious as being a mum was a priority.

Kids got older so decided to get out there and meet someone- what a nightmare that's been, seriously why do I only attract nut jobs? But the disastrous dates make a good talking point.

Anyway couple of weeks ago got chatting to a bloke seemed lovely, divorced, children same age as mine lots of similar interests really easy to talk to so arranged a date.

Day before date he had to admit he had some serious baggage and wanted to be totally up front - woman he was seeing last year is expecting a baby and he is one of the 3 potential dads, there is no relationship there anymore however he said he will fully support the child if it turns out to be his.

I still went and met him for coffee - turned into a 4 hour long coffee date! Chatted about loads of stuff ( not exes or babies though)

Now sensible me says walk away too much baggage and will it end up messy.

Not so sensible me thinks so what he is single and he is the first normal bloke I've dated in years!

What do you wise bunch suggest?

Mamma Mia! Run, don't walk, to the nearest exit.

He sounds ok, actually. He seems similar to you in his situation - divorced, kids in similar ages...
The woman he dated, who also dated two other men at the same time - and all three as possible dads, on the other hand seems a little 😳😳😳....
One - could be contraception failure. But three seems to be a planned effort to get pregnant.
When will he know if he is the dad?

Why don't you keep things platonic until you know whether he's the father? And find out as much as you can about his plans if he is the dad. If the mother turns out to be a nightmare and he is the dad, that is complicated especially when there's a baby involved. However he got himself into.this situation, if you want a reliable partner who makes wise decisions, tread very carefully.

How is he a normal bloke?!

Doesn't he know about condoms?

Yeah, not that normal. Single dad = wear a condom. Is the mum going to take a DNA test after birth?

Don’t bother. Bloke who doesn’t use condoms and is surprised at pregnancy? This is the start of things, not exactly best foot forward.

Well at least he was upfront about it.

Him potentially having another child wouldn't necessarily put me off. However, him having unprotected sex with a woman who is having unprotected sex with 2 other people would make me worried about STDs. That would put me off the idea of having a serious relationship.

Bear in mind that all of the info you have about this situation is filtered through him - it could be exactly as he relates it, or it could be very different. For example, it might very well be that there are three potential fathers for this baby, or it might be that the woman in question would be very surprised to hear about this Mamma Mia esque love triangle (quadrilateral?)

Also it is a not unheard of technique for a person to test a date's boundaries pretty early on by "confessing" to some large transgression under the guise of "honesty". What this does is swiftly weed out the people who say "nope, too much drama, I'm out" and leaves behind the ones who like to give the benefit of the doubt and are prepared to take their new beau's side without question. It also sets up a "sunk costs" dynamic early on - someone who feels they have already invested in this relationship by overcoming the fact he is having a baby with another woman is far less likely to walk away from more "minor" issues.

All in all, I would put this on ice for a bit - surely he can wait a few months to find out if he really is this child's father and then proceed from there?

It wouldn’t put me off. At least he’s been honest with you from the start and at least he’s willing to step up and be a father to the baby if it is his unlike some who would just disappear. Honesty and accountability are good characteristics to have.

It wouldn’t put me off, he seems like a decent man by being up front with you, and also supporting this child. It also could just be a contraceptive failure, which is very common and doesn’t make someone a bad person.

Honesty and accountability are good characteristics to have

Yeah, except we have no idea if this man has them. We have his word for it about the other two potential dads and his word that he would "step up". Let's not get out the flags and have a parade for him just yet.

I’d just keep it on a low burner for a bit... you’re not the one in a tricky situation! Just casually see him as and when you like, don’t promise anything and see how it turns out with the baby. Once baby is born and you have more facts: info about how things will proceed, you can either choose to continue or tell him thanks but you’re leaving it there!

Porcupine speaks wisely.

Keeping it just as friends for now. He was in a relationship with this woman for 2 years she cheated on him with her ex and she was also on tinder and met someone around the time baby was conceived. We have a mutual friend who has backed up his story.

He has asked her for a dna test once baby is born.

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If it was only last year... like, December? It seems he has lots of emotional stuff going on. Why does he want to complicate his life with a partner?