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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Tired of feeling feeling sad & empty 247. what am I doing wrong?

1 reply

Pippa20 · 22/04/2019 15:25

I am in my early twenties, and feel like I should be enjoying life a lot more than I am.

It’s as if everyone else’s lives are progressing while I’m in a box watching. Over the last 2-3 years I have actually gone backwards in every area of my life.

I had an unplanned pregnancy with my first boyfriend in 2016 and I was very torn on whether to terminate or not. I booked the termination after deliberating, but cancelled it mainly due to his assurances that he wanted us to have a child, and he would support us both.

He turned out to be really manipulative, abusive and abandoned me financially and emotionally mid way through the pregnancy - it’s been a struggle ever since. He stayed on the scene but uninvolved.

He has come and gone several times since DC was born, which is really stressful because when he is here he is lovely and it takes a lot of pressure off me. But after issues involving money (he refuses to provide financially) he has backed off loads but keeps giving us crumbs here or there so I can’t actually have my closure and move on.

At the moment I constantly feel shit, about myself, my appearance, my lack of achievements in life, and feeling like I have failed to give DC a proper family.

Later this year DC starts childcare which will help financially but only stop me going into my overdraft every month, I will also spend the whole time DC is in childcare working so I don’t feel it will relieve any stress or give me a break. No close family I’d trust to care for DC so I feel quite trapped.

Sorry for my moany, ranty post. All my feelings have come to the surface the last couple of days with the weather and everyone else having a lovely time with their family. DCs dad is also out clubbing and enjoying the sunshine (& life in general)while I struggle. I don’t know what to do to make life more bearable or even somewhat enjoyable. Any advice would be really welcome & appreciated

OP posts:
Hitheresunrays · 22/04/2019 15:47

OP, I am 26 years old with two daughters and pregnant with one more, I know how it feels to be struggling and young! you are not alone!

For starters, don't let your boyfriend come and leave your life- he doesn't deserve you and clearly only makes you feel worse when he leaves. Forget about him for the better and trust me you will thank yourself in the future.

Go and see your family or friends if you can, and enjoy your time with them too. If not, just spend some days out with your DC, just the two of you!

You may feel like your life is 'going backwards' but focus on the positives: that you have a lovely DC and that this isn't permanent- you have the rest of your life to look forwards too!

wishing you strength OP I hope you feel better soon Flowers

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