Hello everyone! I’ve been involved with a guy that is trying to place the blame of the whole ‘fling’ on me, it’s causing me anxiety and I don’t know what to do.
A few months ago I became super friendly with a coworker. We had both come out of relationships, and we got on really well as friends. We would meet up and go for drinks after work, I had a lot of fun and we laughed a lot - it was great. One night things took a turn and we started kissing. We both acknowledged it was a bad idea because of work, and tried to ignore that it happened. As time went on, we kept spending time together and more and more happened. We spent nights together and when we worked we would ignore it had happened - we both love our jobs, we both knew they came first. We decided two weeks ago to stop spending time together, neither of us wanted it to ruin our jobs. Because we are both out of long term relationships, it also became a struggle seeing each other every day, it was a fling that had to be filled with commitment early on which caused issues and arguments for us both. We wanted each other but there were too many things against us.
When we discussed it afterwards - I wanted to resolve everything so that we could be civil at work - he claimed I’d forced him into spending time with me. He claimed he hadn’t wanted to sleep with me ever, but I’d pressured him and ‘because he’s a man’ he did it anyway. Amongst other comments about my family and lifestyle not fitting with his (he’d never met anyone, we just worked together so he’d judged it based on what I had told him and all social media that he had me on), he would be critical about my personality. I don’t know if this is because he liked me and didn’t know how to end it amicably, or whether he is a negative person that I should keep out of my life. His comments have become so hurtful and I’m having to face him every day in work. I don’t know how to handle it. I’m trying to rise above his comments but they’re cutting deep?