What advice would you have given yourself?

[Lasttobepickedatgames]

I'm in the UK and I've 2 DC. I'm married but unfortunately when the DC came along DH showed me who he really is: nasty; lazy; aggressive bully. I don't want to give examples and end up in the bloody Daily Mail as life is bad enough at the minute.

He worked away this weekend and it struck me how much happier the house was without him. I'm going to give him time to find somewhere to go and take his belongings (clutter) but then I don't know what.

I'm a shadow of my confident old self. I've had a look at the divorce/separation boards but wondered if anyone here left a similar situation and is sat on the other side? What advice would you have given yourself when you were going to start ending it?

Right now I can't see how me and the DC will cope as I've no other support, hence why DH behaves the way he does as he knows I'm stuck in the situation.

I would get on with it. I was scared of how it would be and how he would behave. Postponing it didn't make anything better. Such a relief to have my own space. Speak to women's aid for support and practical help.it is hard but worth it, good luck

I am far happier than I was with my ex. It's a peaceful house and I can do things my way. I manage my own money, I do what needs to be done. There's less mess and less stress.

Everything is down to me, but on the bright side of that, I no longer feel the weight of resentment that fully grown adult partner isn't doing his share, and that was surprisingly heavy to bear. I decide what's important to me and that's what gets done on my own time scale.

My confidence has grown enormously and I more than cope. You will too.

I would absolutely say go for it.
So many of us ( me included ) stay in stale, unhealthy and demoralising marriages because of our children and fear of finances.
At the end of the day you can be skint but far happier, in actual fact I am better off financially since leaving my ex husband. I do work full time but I know exactly where my money is going and I am 100% in control.
I met someone amazing quite soon after leaving and that just made me wish I'd left years earlier

I'm better off financially too as my ex used to piss everything away.

Thanks everyone. It's silly because when I met him I was so confident and happily single. Now I doubt every decision I make and am really worried about the future. I just need to think once he's gone he will never be able to rant at me ever again. I think he will move on very quickly anyway (He's not Mr Faithful) I used to be so upset about that but now I think it will do me a massive favour.