SIL told MIL about my pregnancy.

[WellThatsJustFab]

DH and I are expecting DC3 due later this year. For a variety of reasons ranging from I simply want to keep this pregnancy between he and I for as long as possible, to wanting to wait until the ‘all clear’ after the 20 week scan to just generally not being ready for our families to know that we’re expanding again - we’ve not ‘announced’ to anyone yet.

SIL took me to a hospital appt the other week.. I’d broken my leg, was in a cast and needed a lift to a follow up consultation appointment on how it was healing. During the appt, the consultant mentioned my pregnancy and said I’d need blood thinners, SIL was in the room and as a result, learnt about our pregnancy. I apologised to her for the way in which she’d had to find out, then asked her to please keep it to herself as we wasnt ready for people to know yet, she said she completely understood and also stated, in her own words, that she thinks her brother should be the one to tell their mum and even asked ME not to tell MIL before he did!

Today however, I’ve discovered SIL told MIL almost instantly. I’m fuming. She knew how I felt about not being ready and knew that if it wasn’t for her accidentally finding out a few weeks prior, she’d also still be in the dark too! DH is pissed with her, understandably, but won’t say anything to her about her sharing our news when it wasn’t her place to.

AIBU to think she was massively out of line here? This is MY pregnancy, this is OUR news. Surely families being told about our newest addition should come from either me or my DH when WE feel we are ready to talk about it?

I’ve sent her a message to let her know that I know that she’s blabbed, and that I’m not best pleased about it. I don’t know what kind of reply I’m expecting or if she’ll even realise that she shouldn’t have said anything. I’m just peeved and wish people could acknowledge when it’s not their place to share news about something that’s nothing to do with them

YABU

You didn't want anyone to know so you took your sil with you knowing they'd mention it.

You have a DH problem if his wanting to keep the peace means more to him than his family members hurting your feelings! It's immature and lazy and inconsiderate on his part. You have a bigger problem than your pregnancy becoming known thanks to blabbermouth SIL

Regardless of what you say, family loyalties play out. You have no idea what MIL would have done if SIL kept the news to herself and MIL found out

Big lesson in life, people have their loyalties. Learn fast who they are with to protect yourself

FWIW, I had no idea this pregnancy would be mentioned else I'd have made her wait outside. My pregnancy wasn't brought up during x rays, whilst being plastered, or during my first two consultation appts. It was just bad luck that I saw a different bloke who happened to question it when he saw it on the system.

MIL told DH that she knew, and said that it was SIL that told her almost straight away. MIL wasn't the slightest bit bothered that we'd 'made her wait' which just makes me even more annoyed that SIL felt the need to blab instantly.
It wasn't a slip up at all, she just straight up messaged her to tell her.

I haven't heard from SIL and don't think I will.

YANBU OP.

How did you find out the MIL knew?

I ask because I was told about a very close relatives pregnancy a few weeks ago (role reversal of your situation, but slightly different). I understood the person telling me was excited, but I thought it was quite out of order. It also meant when I was officially told, I had to act surprised and I felt pretty shit. Just wish they hadn't put me in they position. They have met announced their news yet, as not 12 twelves weeks, but have told a handful of us early. The person who told me thinks the whole 12 week thing doesn't matter, but that's hardly the point.

I trust this person with my life and I don't know if it's because she thinks we're so close that's it's fine to blab, but it really isn't!

They x rayed you without asking/checking if you were pregnant?