I dont allow them i say his name to them and tell them hes not thier dad but everynow n gain they call him dad and i correct them. Like every time he gives me a peck on the cheek in front of them they say from chitty bang bang now you have to get married i tell them its just a pexk on the cheek like when i peck you on the head. My kids are my first priority which is why ive cone to a wrb page of parents to try n get some advice cause im a tad stuck but not realise that i have to write my replies to what my kids say or call someone should i also tell them not to call my mates nanny not nanny cause shes not thier nanny...
Admittedly in my brain i am seeing more cons then pros in moving but before i cut it straight out to a nope, ive spoken to him and told him the cons or possible cons i thought id get a 3rd party with no actual involvment in my life advice on what people think or maybe someone else had been in the same situation.
Basically i moved myself and kids at tolder age away from birth town to get away from a bad relationship with 'dad' and my family to a place id never been to or knew anyone to start fresh changed my name and kept to myself then met the other half when i was volunteering for a kids fare he was doing the same i didnt let him meet the twins for a long time and when i did we never showed any relationship type stuff in front of them when he started having sleep overs he even used to sleep on my sofa bed so the twins didnt catch us in bed and when we went camping he has a huge tent with separate areas for beds he stayed in his own bit and i slept next to the twins its only been the last year or so hell give me a peck on the cheek and a hug he sometimes gives the twins a peck on the twins hair and a little hug when the leaves us, and i know im very cut off with my emotions im dealing slowly the twins dad was my 'first love' only guy id been with so i think to be hurt bad and give r a relationship another go is a good step for me but is 3years long enough to leap into moving in with someone or do i move to same area and see how it goes,
My style is quite gothy i guess so i dont know if that throws people off but st school im always happy and chatty with the other parents some who are also gothy in style but my kids never get play dates and when i ask people to parks or kids playzones their normally busy like everytime even birthdays they dont get invited and for thier party only my small group of friends kids came (2 kids and a baby ) so i wouldnt think i was uprooting the twins from any of their relationships a move could be like a big adventure where they could make new friends and have losts of room to play as we live close to a busy town atm with a small garden that fits a swing and toy house in it, ive been trying to home swap for past 2 yeas but no luck for this town and surrounding areas as my thrid bed room is tiny people want bigger 3 bed houses.
And if my relationship didnt work but i had my own house then i would explain it like were still friends we are just very busy to see eachother as much ect...
And as for animals i never leave the kids alone with the dogs just cause i feel as much as i trust the dogs ya can never be 100% with amimals and kids due to dov attack when i was younger his are all show dogs thats part of his job he trains and shows dogs and mines a big pansy lol ao all very well behaved but still 6 dogs is abit wow in 1 house but 2 houses would be like how it is now.
Tbh i dont know what im hoping to get out of this thread but i spoke to the other half he said he cant promise our life will be a fairytale but hell try his very best to make me and twins happy my friends either say 'go for it' or 'no you cant move' or one jokingly said 'sheep shagger village' so im not really getting much help from them
And omg i realise ive write an essay