What to do when you just don't like DP?

[Babysharkdododont]

DP has done some pretty shitty things over the years, mostly when drunk (he drinks too much but probably isn't an alcoholic).

We decided to have a fresh start and have 2nd child, I'm now pregnant. If I'm completely honest with myself I wanted 2nd child more than I wanted the relationship. More fool me.

The trouble is I can't forgive DP all his transgressions, and our relationship is completely joyless. I don't enjoy his company or fancy him, so we've not a lot to build on. He's trying quite hard to make things right, but I just can't move on from the hurt and upset of years gone by.

I dread being alone with him and love it when he works away.

Has anybody managed to turn things around after a situation like this? I feel trapped and fantasise about a life without him.

Just leave him

You'll be happier alone

You've got your 2 children so enjoy them

It doesn't sound very promising

Call it a day l think. That’s probably the best fresh start

Thank you all. It sounds so bloody obvious doesn't it, but I keep wondering if I can just be a bit happier and it will all be OK. Fake it til you make it almost

I agree with the others, finish it and move on. You'll be happier in the long term. I feel SO much better after ditching my ex.

Carry on faking it for the next 40 years? :-O

You've had an Elastoplast baby......you were hoping for a fairytale ending. It's not happened. End it before your kids notice.

I'd end it too. When they reveal themselves and its not pretty, it's still the truth.

Tbh don’t think I’d make any rash decisions when pregnant or maybe even not with a newborn. It’s such a massively emotional time I wouldn’t trust myself to think reasonably about it. Can you give it a year? It’s not much in the big scheme of things

Another factor is that I wasn't great when ds was born, had terrible PND and I'm worried I'll struggle when dc2 is born. I've a pretty strong feeling that had DP not been around I could have done something terrible to ds when he was a tiny baby, I really was that poorly.

Huge drip feed I know, but it's probably what's making me stay.

Elastoplast baby is definitely the correct term, what a bloody idiot I am

You basically used him for another child, you don't like him I suggest you are honest to him and split up with him, no leading him up the garden path, sorry op I'm not meaning to be harsh it's just what I see off what you have said.