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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

So confused. What to do.

1 reply

Wannabemuslimmummy · 21/04/2019 11:25

I'm (28) 7 months pregnant with my and the husband's (35) first child.

Last night I found he had been messaging other women completely behind my back - a leopard never changes his spots. It was a shock because I was at a point where I thought we were so happy and outwardly everything indicated that. It sounds cliche but I was going to sleep thinking I couldn't be happier and waking up next him.

He'd never been good at hiding what he was doing and after I walked out on him in January, I saw major change in him. This time the change was tremendous and he said he was done. But it turns out that he just got better at hiding it. So for the first time in our marriage, it hit me so badly what he's been doing. I know he keeps telling me it's talking but it's still cheating. He joined up chat sites to "browse" apparently.

I haven't packed my bags. I haven't left. I told him we're living seperatly, but in the same house until our child comes. I can't go through the whole process of starting again so close to my due date, especially when I'm still working full time and had major issues with my pregnancy.

Now keeping all that in mind, we live with my in laws who treat me amazing. They don't know about their son's behaviour. My father in law had a stroke this morning and my husband is in peices. Every single part of me wants to reach out to him and comfort him, but physically I'm unable to do so. Its got to a point where he was sobbing his heart out and I touched him.. It felt like I was going to break and fall. How the fuck do I deal with this situation? I feel so heartless but he has broken me into little peices.

OP posts:
ConfCall · 21/04/2019 11:40

Oh wow OP what a lot to deal with! I’m sorry.

I think you should do nothing. Bide your time and focus on your health and the impending arrival. You could talk to a solicitor to see what’s what, but I’d avoid any actual activity for the time being. Not for your cheating DH’s sake, but for your sake and FiL’s.

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