How do i get over this fear?

[Sabrinatheteenagebitchx]

I didnt know where to post this.. its a bit of relationships/mental health/aibu?

Basically last year i had a stroke due to being pregnant. I had a type of stroke some people are prone to getting post partum.

Ive been told by a consultant im at extra risk to things like strokes/blood clots especially when either being pregnant or on hormonal contraception. Ive also been told not to have either coil atm because i am having really heavy periods and i am on iron supplements because of this. Anyway thats the back story..

My parnter and i havent have PIV sex since the stroke we've had anal a few times but im not that keen on it. Im too scared to have proper sex even with condoms just incase i get pregnant and i have a stroke again. Im constantly paranoid im pregnant and dont know it yet even though we've only had sex once since having baby last year and that was just before the stroke. Ive done about 10 pregnancy tests and had a blood test at doctors but im still paranoid. How long before this affects my relationship? I dont want us not having sex to ruin our relationship. He never seems bothered and never mentions it and understands why i dont want to have sex but im worried he is actually bothered inside.

Also im on anti depressants and am waiting for counselling for my anxiety.

Anyone?

Can't help but I hope you get the counselling soon. Could you consider some other form of contraception such as a diaphragm or natural method, in addition to a condom?

How many children have you got? Would you ever consider having any more despite the risks? Would your husband consider having the snip?

If he is committed to you and the relationship, then he wouldn't even bat an eyelid about having a vasectomy.

Sex is very much a part of most of our relationships and you must feel incredibly anxious about it with your medical history. I see a sterilisation for one of you as the only solution. I wish you all the best.

Even if your partner says he's not bothered, over time I think it will erode the intimacy between you, so best to get this sorted.

Having a stroke must have been terrifying so I completely understand your fears.

Here's what I would suggest.

1. Use an "extra safe" condom. NOT DUREX! Every time I've had a condom split on me it's been Durex. I recommend Mates Protector. You could also try using Femidoms. I've never had one of those break and I used them for a long time with an ex.
2. Have him pull out right before he ejaculates and either come into his hand or if you're up for it, across your boobs (I actually find this really erotic, but keep wet wipes next to the bed!)
3. Track your cycle so you know when you're ovulating and avoid vaginal sex around that time.

If you are sure you don't want more children then yes sterilisation for one of you is probably the best long term solution.