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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Intense ... then nothing

1 reply

YellowAardvark · 21/04/2019 10:43

I wondered if anyone had any advice about this?

I've been spending a lot of time with a man, an intense amount of time. He was away from the city we live for a month so messaged a few times a day, and when he got back over the last two weeks we saw each other about every second day if not more, when not together he messaged me often - 4 or 5 conversations started a day and so on. My attempts to pull back never really worked, for example the other evening I put my phone on silent so missed a message then got two other follow-up ones, including via text.

I knew it was too intense but wanted to see what would happen I guess as it was largely driven by him and maybe got swept up in it all, but on Thursday he was distracted and not listening properly when I was talking, didn't reply to a message Thursday evening, and I've messaged one more time and received a short nothing response about twelve hours later.

I feel totally baffled and confused by the whole thing. We've now gone 48 hours without an online chat for the first time in over three months and it feels really horrible. I knew things were too intense but at the same time just feel like I've been dropped, especially as the intensity was driven by him too. He's been online, just not talking to me.

Has anyone had this before? How did you cope?

OP posts:
HoldMyGirl · 21/04/2019 20:28

Yes, I've had this happen to me, heard of it happening to others and read about it on here.

It seems that people who are incredibly intense in the beginning can completely change and go cold on their 'partner' quite suddenly.
I think they can be quite obsessive my nature and enjoy the thrill from the early stages of a 'relationship', and once that thrill begins to diminish, they pull back.

Flowers for you, I know it really hurts

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