Crap Easter already.

[H4ppyeaster]

Having a crap Easter. Woke at 5am because of heat, DH wasn’t in bed so I thought he ended must’ve got up earlier and put the heating on. Went downstairs to turn the thermostat down and found DH asleep on the sofa with an electric heater switched on. I switched it off, woke DH and we went up to bed.
I ended up tossing and turning, couldn’t get back to sleep because the heater being left on for hours when DH is asleep terrifies me, we have terrible electrics in this house and I’m scared there will be a fire. (I have asked him/begged him several times before to just use the main heating and not the electric one at night because of my fear).
Decided to just get up and start the day, DH asked what I was doing and I said I’m waking up, can’t sleep now, too anxious about the heater.

DH then told be to go to sleep and when I said no he grabbed my hair and pulled my head back while grabbing onto one of my arms. He then said “fine, do what you want “ so I went downstairs.

I have a sore neck, headache and just feeling crap. Keep thinking it’s my fault the day has started like this, I shouldn’t have mentioned being anxious about the heater, especially when he wasn’t fully awake.

Not asking anything, just feeling shit and need to let it out so I can get myself together and turn this day into a good one.

What the fuck? No, it's not people rub him up the wrong way. It's that he has anger management issues and is an abuser.
Wake up!

If someone at work said something he didn’t like - would be violently abuse them? No.
He can control himself, he just doesn’t want to.
You don’t make him do anything.

Your husband assaulted you. It is NOT your fault he did that. He chose to physically harm you. Please leave, next time it could be a lot worse.

Are you not in the UK? I couldn't imagine having a heater on with the current weather we are having. You seem scared of your partner?

Darling, it’s not you. Your husband is abusive, and you deserve so much better. Do you have family or friends near by? Can you go there? You deserve to be somewhere you feel safe.

Get rid of the husband, not the heater.

How long has he been telling you that his outrageous reactions are your fault?

He assaulted you this morning.

I’m not going to lie and say that’ll I’m going to leave, I don’t feel I have the strength at the moment. I do think I want to, the thought of living the rest of my life like this is depressing but I don’t want to be alone.

Who do I rub up the wrong way? Everyone. I’ve not had a friendship for about 13 years, even then it was just one person. Without DH I’d have no one.

You shouldn’t blame yourself.

If a random stranger pulled your hair and grabbed your arm on the street you’d call the police. Your H has no rights to hurt you the same way a stranger doesn’t.

Make plans to leave him.

You have no one anyway. Get yourself to safety.

I'd have put a pillow over his face.

I too think you should get rid of DH not the heater.

How long have you been with DH? Is he the reason you don’t have friends?

You sound very isolated and unhappy OP. What would happen if you decided to look up an old friend or start a new hobby? Electric heaters are a health risk. At work we actually ban them and only allow oil filled ones. I presume you're not in the UK because we have gro eggs everywhere for the baby and rooms were between 21-24oc! Remember that this isn't your fault and you likely feel this way because your confidence has been slowly eroded by your abuser. Are you in contact with your family?

Keep thinking it’s my fault the day has started like this, I shouldn’t have mentioned being anxious about the heater, especially when he wasn’t fully awake

How on earth is it your fault he assaulted you? Your thinking is skewed here, but living with an abusive man will do that for you. It sounds to me like you had valid concerns about the heater anyway.

Not asking anything, just feeling shit and need to let it out so I can get myself together and turn this day into a good one

You can turn this day into a good one by making it the day you turn your life around and start making plans to get out of this relationship. Starting this thread was the first step.

I’m in the UK, just live in a poorly insulated house, south facing so warms up during the day nicely.

I couldn’t look up any old friend as I only had one and lost touch when she got married and moved country. DH is encouraging of me trying to meet people, he dislikes that I’m a loner.

Wow OP. I’m shocked at how your husband treated you, but I’m more shocked that you feel that somehow you are to blame for ‘rubbing people up the wrong way’.

Plenty of people rub me up the wrong way and I’ve never grabbed their hair!

I’m sorry you feel so alone. What about starting a local club or similar, to help you make new friends and build confidence? Then perhaps one day you’ll realise that you are worth more than being treated like this.

Oh lovely, it's not you, you didn't say the wrong thing at all, those heaters left on over night ARE a death trap and you have every right to say how you feel about them.

He has absolutely no right at all to do that to you, none at all.

He's really made you feel like the problem.

Hey OP how are you? Have you had an ok week?